Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, Friends...

49º now...in the 70's today...

calling for 86º tomorrow...

When will it settle down, Petewete??

☼

Scramble eggs, and cheese?

No... I'm going to a breakfast Buffet this morning...

Gotta get my chip beef gravy on biscuits......fix.

☼

Mr. Porcupine is having his breakfast....

☼

HEY! were are you going with my cherry tomato ?

☼

Old squirrel wouldn't last long here...

The cats are too fast.....

☼

Rabbit's like Chips??

carrot chips maybe.....

☼

Go somewere and sleep it off.... dummy....

☼

Sorry bout that....... I hope your not talkin bout me.....

☼

For the last time,...GET OFF my tail!!

☼

Kiss and make up......

☼

Damn, Guys...Were are your ears??

Can you hear me??

☼

Well, It's that time....

☼

☼

♥♥♥

~~ Ruby loved her two dogs, but they were very disobedient, so she decided to take them to obedience classes....    The class was run by an old man.

He was very strict but seemed to get good results, and after several months of regular attendance things had improved to such a degree that Ruby was even considering entering her pets into a dog show.
But then one day, disaster struck.    Ruby had to baby-sit for her young nephew.
All evening, the boy teased the dogs, and by the end of the day both dogs were back to their old
habits - all the hard work and training was undone in a single evening; it was as if they had never been to class at all.
Worst of all, it was only a few weeks before the dog show, and she had already registered her entry.
What could she do?
In desperation, Ruby decided to call a friend of hers who also had two dogs of the same type that did behave themselves, and asked to borrow them.
Her friend agreed, and at the next class Ruby arrived as usual with two well-behaved dogs.
But the old man wasn't fooled for a moment - as soon as he saw them he knew they were the wrong dogs, so he called
Ruby over to the side of the class. "It was a good try," he said, once he'd heard the story,
"but you should have realized that .......you can't trick an old teach with new dogs."

☼

~~ The evening of my 41st birthday,
my five-year-old daughter, Christine,
said a special prayer for me.
She began: "Dear God, please bless Mommy.
She's had a birthday and is getting really old."
Beside me, my husband was shaking with suppressed
laughter until she continued:
"And please bless Daddy, too.
He's also at that difficult age."

☼

~~ The foreman came into the factory office one day and
announced that he was going to be the father of twins.
Hearty congratulations were offered from all in attendance
and soon the inevitable question of the babies' genders
came up.
The foreman said that he was not allowed to divulge that
information.
"Are you allowed to tell us if they are the same"
someone asked.
He thought about it for a moment and then replied,
"No, they're not the same."

☼

~~ Our American parish priest participated in a special,
international convocation in Rome.
Foreign clergy and Catholic congregants, speaking various
languages, attended.
Father Gary, along with others, was asked to hear confessions.
Each confessional had a sign posted with the language spoken.
As our good Father walked to his confessional, a woman,
quite frustrated, approached him.
"I can't believe this!
Now they even have confessionals for lesbians?".
It was then that Father noticed the sign over one of the
confessionals "Lebanese".

☼

~~ Eager to make good,a young office employee was thrilled
to be given a new title: Executive Director of Personal Energy
Management.
His excitement diminished when he found out that it meant he
was in charge of stocking the break room with doughnuts and
coffee.

☼

~~ My mother cast one of her students as the innkeeper for
the Christmas pageant.
All the third grader had to do was tell Joseph,
"There is no room at the inn."
But during the performance, after Joseph begged for a room
for his pregnant wife, the boy didn't have the heart to turn him
down. "Well" he said, "if it's so urgent, come on in."

☼

~~Yogi Berra once received a twenty-five-dollar check -
made out to "Bearer" - for a radio interview which he had
done with a sportscaster named Jack Buck.
"How the hell long have you known me, Jack?"
Berra cried after examining the check.
"How could you spell my name like that!"

☼

~~ During a medical assessment before moving into a
retirement home, a nurse asked my grandparents,
"Do you need hearing aids?"
"Yes," my grandmother answered.
"But he doesn't like his, never wears it and leaves it at home."
Then she added, "I always carry mine in my purse."

☼

~~ I'd had a busy day and was looking forward to a nice,
hot shower.
I was about to step into the tub, naked except for my shower
cap, when my five-year-old grandson burst in, saying he
needed the bathroom.
With no time to grab a towel, I stood frozen and somewhat
embarrassed.
Nonchalantly, he looked me up and down and said,
"I know what that's for, Grandma."
"Oh?" I replied weakly.
"Yeah," he replied.
"It's for keeping your hair dry in the shower!"

☼

~~ Q: What was the name of the person who made
King Arthur’s Round Table?
A: Sir Cumferance


☼
☼
Todays Thought:  "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.                   Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."



Rae's Trivia......Greek conqueror Alexander the Great ordered his entire army to shave their faces and heads.   He believed beards and long hair were too easy for an enemy to grab in order to decapitate his victim.