Not gonna be a nice day.....A cold rainy day....Snow...
Gonna be bad all week......
☼
Scrambled Eggs this morning?
No links?
☼
Petewete's gonna have a B-B-Q....
Your gonna go crazy cooking all them
Burgers on that grill...
☼
What? your having a cook out, and
never told me??
You an't right......
☼
The cat don't like to hear the crying.....
hurts their ears.... yours too?
☼
That cat sez; The heck with you....
I'm bailing....
☼
Friends and playmates......
Cute....
☼
Cold and freezing down at the creek....
☼
Now thats a bad neighborhood....
☼
Seems everyone knows Eno.....
☼
Gotta go....Gotta go....
Cool Huh?
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♥♥♥
~~ After Adam stayed out late a few nights, Eve became suspicious. "You’re running around with another woman— admit it!" she demanded. "What other woman?" Adam shot back.... "You’re it!" That night, Adam was fast asleep when he was awakened by Eve poking him in the chest.
"What are you doing?" "Counting your ribs." ☼
~~ A job applicant’s polygraph test for the Washington
State Patrol came to an abrupt end after officers discovered
an interesting piece of literature on the front seat of his car.
The title of the book: How to Beat a Lie Detector Test.
☼
~~ My father's method of accounting for the hundreds of
cattle on his ranch was very unique.
Every spring, he would move the herd down a long ramp,
through a wooden gate and into a holding pen for inspection.
As each animal entered the pen, he marked the count on
the gate.
One summer, he went to the bank to apply for a loan,
using his cattle for collateral.
The bank officer asked to see his records.
"No problem," replied Dad.
He went back to the ranch, took the gate off its hinges and
brought it to the bank.
Dad got the loan.
☼
~~ Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else
doesn't think they're jokes.
☼
~~ I'm kinda grieving.
My Grandfather Just died.
You see he worked at a Urethene Factory.
He had a horrible, horrible death.
His job was to stir the vats as they got kinda stuck together,
you know coagulated.
Well, one day he was doing his job stirring the vats as a bit
of urethene got stuck together.
They have a stir-rer in the vats but he had to get the excess
that they missed.
So here he was stirring the vat when one of the stirrers
catches the pole he's using to stir.
Sucker pulls him right into the vat.
Sure enough he drowns in this vat of Urethene.
It was a horrible, horrible death.
But man, what a beautiful finish.
☼
~~ Question?: Why did god create aramadillos?
So rednecks could eat possum on the halfshell.
☼
~~ A man runs into the doctor's office and screams
"Doctor, doctor I think I am shrinking!"
The doctor doesn't look up from his work but says....
"I am busy right now.
You will have to be a little patient."
☼
~~ After she tripped and hurt herself, my sister filed a lawsuit.
While she was being deposed, the opposing attorney asked,
"Since your injury, is there anything you cannot do now that you
did before the injury?"
"Yes, I can't ride my bicycle anymore," she said.
"And why is that?"
"Because it has a flat tire."
☼
~~ The plan: to build a garden walkway made up of dozens
of wooden squares.
I decided I'd slice railroad ties into two-inch-thick pieces for
the sections.
That's what I told the clerk at the lumberyard.
"You got a power saw?" he asked.
"No," I said.... "Can't I just use my hand saw?"
He nodded slowly. "You could.
But I just have one question.
How old do you want to be when you finish?"
☼
~~ When my septic system was clogged,
a friend volunteered to help me.
Pete climbed down into the pit with a snake and yards of cable.
After 15 minutes I heard him muttering:
"My mother needs a ride into the city,
my brother is coming to town,
my car has to go to the garage..."
"Pete," I asked, "what are you doing?"
"Practicing," he replied.
"For what?"
"For the next time you have a problem."
☼
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Todays Thought: We are each entitled to our own opinion, but no one is entitled to his own facts.
Rae's Trivia....The good news in 1547 in Britain was that the law was amended to end the practice of boiling criminals to death. The bad news was that the punishment was changed to burning them at
the stake.
~~~~~~~~~~
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