Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, friends and readers.....
Well, Freezing Rain, sleet,snow the whole works
Monday night...Tuesday looks bleak too...
Time to break out the crock pot, Petewete...
I'm outta chicken, but got some big Blue Jays......

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Coffee is ready, if anyone wants any....

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My cat "Babe" looking for breakfast......

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This one is saying shes ready for some squirrel

for breakfast.....

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Cat in the bowl.... get outta the bowl, how am i gonna

get some cereal

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Send it back....Don't need another one.....

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Watch out, Bubba...mean cat......

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Left your bike out again, Huh.....

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At lease it's not froze to the ground...

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Must be an indoor pool...

It would be froze here......

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Looks like they got plenty help.....

I bet Petewete stopped too....

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What is this? A snow critter....

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♥♥♥

~~ A cantor who sings the prayers at a synagogue brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice,

"Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London
for $750,000."
There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room.
Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet,
nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard,
"So... vot did you do with the insurance money?"

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~~ Long ago, Elmer the Curious sailed a small craft far
away.
He sought the Elixir of Youth.
It was said that a bush grew somewhere along the riverbank,
the leaves of which, when cooked for many hours,
produced a substance which could ward off the effects of
age.
One afternoon he happened upon the bush.
He cooked two vials of a strange pungent substance,
and called all the elders of the city, explaining that he was
prepared to sell his Elixir of Youth.
"How do we know it will work," they asked.
Elmer was incensed by these doubts.
As they watched he drank it all himself.
He never spoke of it again, though he lived for many years.
Many inquired, but his lips were sealed.
You see, he had invented Elmer's glue.

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~~ To encourage "meatless Fridays," many of the
churches have suppers for their parishioners.
The fare is catfish, salmon, tilapia, or whatever is fresh at
the market.
The cooking is done by the fish Friars.

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~~ Dear God:
For 2011, all I ask for is a big fat bank account and a slim
body.
Please do not mix up the two like you did last year.

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~~ A 98 year old woman in California announced that she
has 100 grandchildren.
She said " Most of the credit goes to my incredibly slutty
daughters."

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~~ 2010 Year to date statistics on Airport screening from
the...Department of Homeland Security:
Terrorist Plots Discovered - 0
Transvestites - 133
Hernia’s - 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases - 3,172
Enlarged Prostates - 8,249
Breast Implants - 59,350
Natural Blondes - 3

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~~ Times have changed, TSA handles more packages
then the postal service now.

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~~ Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell
"naughty" stories during class, a group of female students
decided that the next time he started to tell one,
they would all rise and leave the room in protest.
The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before
class the following day, so he bided his time.
Then, halfway through the lecture, he began.
"They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France."
The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door.
Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile,
the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon

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~~ An elderly couple came back from a wedding one
afternoon and were in a pretty romantic mood.
While sitting on their loveseat, the elderly woman looked at
her companion and said,
"I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had."
The old man feeling a bit obliged leaned over and gave her a
peck on the cheek.
Then she said, "I also remember when you used to hold my
hand at every opportunity."
The old man again feeling obligated reached over and gently
placed his hand on hers.
The elderly woman then stated, "I also remember when you
used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine."
This time, the old man had a blank stare on his face and
started to get up off the couch.
As he began to walk out of the living room, his wife asked,
"Was it something I said, where are you going?"
The old man looked at her and replied,
"I'm going in the other room to get my teeth

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Todays Thought:  I have lived, loved, lost and loved again. Life is not easy, but it is what it is.

Rae's Trivia:  How many words did Noah define?

The last dictionary that Noah Webster wrote contained
70,000 words and their meanings.
He wrote it with no help and by hand.
After his death his family sold the right to publish to
G&C Merriam and Co.

"Have a great day"

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