# 1180

A fine morning, this Sunday...
Partly cloudy and in the 40's....
Heat wave yesterday...It got to 50º...
Rain and snow coming tho.....
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He's proud of his teeth, ain't he??

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Oh no....now gotta change The password...

too young for the "Dog Whisperer"

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Ain't tall enought.....Sam....

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Yeah..you want to buy them??

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Okay, Okay, take your ball and go home....

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Looks like the coon got drunk .....

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Now thats cool.....

I guess thats the redneck in me......

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Do an "A round the world", DUDE....

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I gotta get going, now...

See you tomorrow morning.....

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♥♥♥

~~ The dangers of driving while texting get all the news. But texting while doing pretty much anything else can also be

hazardous, as these messages prove.
* I'm driving 90 mph along the most scenic part of the cliffside drive!
This should be nice.
Here comes a bend in the road with no guardrail to ruin the view!

* I'm relaxing in a bathtub while texting you.
I don't have to worry about my battery dying because my phone
is plugged into the wall outlet.

* Guess what! I'm being airlifted off a log, out of a river filled
with piranhas.
I should be holding on to this rope,
but I couldn't wait to tell you about it!

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~~ A co-worker was telling me about her gardening
techniques, explaining that she plants peas and corn together
so that the peas can climb up the corn stalks for support.
"How does it work?" I asked.
"Great," she said, "we have peas coming out of our ears!"

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~~ It was obvious one Monday morning at The Restaurant
School (Walnut Hill College)....
where I was training to be a chef,
that it had been party time that weekend.
Most students were nodding off in their seats.
The instructor, demonstrating a short-order breakfast,
had many dishes going at once and soon there was the smell
of burning toast.
The instructor looked at it, at the dozing students and
demanded, "What is this?"
One sleepy student glanced at the black smoke and mumbled,
"It's coma toast, sir."

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~~ Did you know: The average number of people airborne
over the US any given hour: 61,000.

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~~ My mother went for her daily run one rainy morning.
As she returned to the house, she slipped and fell, hitting her
head on the driveway.
I called the paramedics.
When they arrived, they asked my mom some questions to
determine her coherency.
"What's today?" inquired one EMT.
Without hesitation, Mom replied, "Trash day."

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~~ There was a congregation that decided to have four
worship services each Sunday.
There was one for those new to the faith.
Another for those who liked traditional worship.
One for those who had lost their faith and would like to get
it back.
And another for those who had a bad experience with church
and were complaining about it.
They have names for each of the services:
FINDERS, KEEPERS, LOSERS, WEEPERS.

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~~ "Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia?
I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with
pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."
"Don't worry, it won't happen to me.
If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."

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~~ IF A DOG WERE YOUR TEACHER YOU WOULD
LEARN STUFF LIKE...
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
When it's in your best interest -- practice obedience.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

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~~ DOCTOR DOCTOR!
Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'.
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
'Is it common?'
"It's not unusual'

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~~ At his brother's birthday party, three-year-old Robert
held up his empty plate and said to his mother Stephanie,
"More cake."
Trying to teach him manners, Stephanie asked,
"What do you say?"
Blake answered, "Hurry."

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~~ Receptionist: 'The doctor is so funny he'll soon have
you in stitches.'
Patient: 'I hope not - I only came in for a check up.'

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Todays Thought: Don't make someone a priority, who only makes you an option.
Rae's Triva:  Were Mozart's compositions on the nose?

Mozart once composed a piano piece that required a player
to use two hands and a nose in order to hit all the correct notes.

 

           
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