# 1190

Well, woke up to rain this morning....Supposed to turn to Snow later...
4-6 inches... So Good Morning....so far.
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Some How it doesn't work for me!

A couple fried Eggs and a couple squeezes

aren't the same.....

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Oh No.. Humpty fell......

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I see you want it all...

Was you hungry??

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What a singing Watermelon?

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Hey Bubba, that's not milk!!

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How about, Moo-Moo?

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Room service...I want 2 acorns please!

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Wanna Bet??

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I see why your Smiling all the time...

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Not a good ride in the rain.....

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Cool ride Huh?

Won't work here......

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♥♥♥

~~ I was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic camera.

I figured that my picture had been taken for speeding,
even though I knew I wasn’t.
Just to be sure, I went around the block and passed the
same spot, driving even more slowly.
But again the camera flashed.
Thinking this was pretty funny, I drove past even slower
three more times, laughing as the camera snapped away
each time while I drove by it at a snail’s pace.
Two weeks later, I got five tickets in the mail for driving
without a seat belt.

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~~ When I eat M&M's
I like to hold two of them between my fingers and squeeze
as hard as I can until one cracks.
The one that cracked gets eaten and the one that didn't
becomes the champion.
Then I grab the next M&M and force them to compete in a
deadly gladiator battle I like to call "Candydome".
I do this until I run out and when there is only one M&M left
standing ..
I send it back to Mars with an attached letter reading
"Please use this M&M for breeding purposes".

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~~ I said to my wife: "You're like soap"
"Aww... Is that because I smell nice?"
"No. You should avoid contact with the eyes."


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~~ Obama has announced that he intends to make it more
difficult to claim benefits.
From next week all the forms will be printed in English.

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~~ While nursing a drink at a bar, a young woman was
distressed to see a drunk sit down next to her.
"Say, honey-baby ... I'd really like t'get into those pants
o'yours."
"Thanks," she shot back, "but I've already got an a**hole
in there."

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~~ I got some new aftershave today which smells like
bread crumbs......... The birds love it!

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~~ A teacher was sitting at her desk grading papers when
her first- grade class came back from lunch.
Alice informed the teacher, "Paul has to go to the
principal's office."
"I wonder why," the teacher mused.
"Because he's a following person," Alice replied.
"A what?" the teacher asked.
"It came over the loudspeaker:
'The following persons are to go to the office.'"

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~~ On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said
'English speaking Doctor' -
I thought what a good idea, why don't we have them in our
country?

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~~ Freelance newspaper writers don't get nearly as much
attention as writers with regular bylines.
So I was delighted when I finally got some notice.
It was at the bank, and I was depositing a stack of checks.
"Wow," said the teller, reading off the names of publishers
from the tops of the checks.
"You must deliver a lot of papers."

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~~ The president of a large corporation opened his
directors meeting by announcing,
"All those who are opposed to the plan I am about to
propose will reply by saying, 'I resign'."

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~~ Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his
new chateau.
The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could
do a rough sketch of what he looked like.
On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother
superior, the minister of finance and a washing machine.

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Todays Thought: "You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue -- agree with him."


Rae's Trivia;  How popular is Jane in Britain?

British parents like the female name Jane a lot more than do
American parents.
Although it has been a very poplar name in both countries
for the last 100 years, it consistently ranked Number 1 in
England in the 1980s.  


 

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