Good Morning, friends and neighbors....
Ready for a great weekend?
Sunday, rain or ........??
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Yesterdays Sunrise.....
Then the rest of the day was cloudy.......
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One of the yard goodies.....
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Looks like it don't it?
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Want a Massage?
You are next......
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You got the moves....."Bubba"....
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Gotta be a photo-shop or I'm seeing things.....
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Looks like he's having fun......
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I know...but 3 hours ago.......??
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I'm looking for investors.. Want to buy a couple....
You can get in on the ground floor of the "Pet Wash"
busness....
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Okay!!..but can you get these Fleas off me??
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"Skippy" is a pool shark......
Don't play with him....
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Okay,....Okay, I will go now!....
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♥♥♥
~~ Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls .
These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity
of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing
by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear
the Niagara Falls?"
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~~ If a firefighters business can go up in smoke,
and a plumbers business can go down the drain,
can a hooker get laid off?
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~~ After the eighty-three year old lady finished her annual
physical examination, the doctor said,
"You are in fine shape for your age, Mrs. Mallory, but tell me,
do you still have intercourse?"
"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said..
She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled
out loud: "Henry, do we still have intercourse?"
And there was a hush .
You could hear a pin drop.
Henry answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Irma,
I told you a hundred times...
What we have is... Blue Cross!"
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~~ An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom
teeth from James, a high-school football player, who had
opted to be sedated for the procedure.
As the intravenous anesthesia was being administered,
the doctor asked James how he was feeling.
"Man," he replied, struggling to keep his eyes open,
"I feel like I'm in History class."
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~~ If you get thrown from a horse, you have to get up and
get back on, unless you landed on a cactus;
then you have to roll around and scream in pain.
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~~ While Carrie played with her two sons Nicholas, four,
and Luke, three, in their backyard, she ran ahead of them.
Nicholas yelled, "Mommy, why do you have a swishy tushy?"
She stopped suddenly and said, "Okay, let's get in the car
and hit the gym for a real workout."
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~~ In high school, you're told what classes to take.
In college, you get to choose; that is, as long as the classes
don't conflict and you have the prerequisites and the classes
aren't closed and you've paid your tuition.
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~~ At art class, our model was a 90-year-old woman who
posed for over an hour.
When we were finished, she went around to see what the
students had done.
She stopped at my desk, frowned, showed displeasure at
my work and angrily exclaimed,
"You've made me look like an old lady!"
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~~ After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take
another minute with his blind date.
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to
the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something
like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes,
put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news.
My grandfather just died."
"Thank heavens," his date replied.
"If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
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~~ Prior to a Washington performance of "La Boheme"
which Dwight Eisenhower was planning to attend,
opera impresario Rudolf Bing was questioned by the
Secret Service about the president's security.
"We hear the girl dies," one agent remarked.
"How is she killed?" "She dies of consumption [tuberculosis],
" Bing replied. "But it isn't contagious at a distance."
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~~ Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting.
Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...
groping their way through the smog singing:
"It came upon a midnight clear."
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~~ A businessman on his deathbed called his friend
and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die
you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with
your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and
mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the
envelope, "Now you have everything."
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~~ He said... "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
She said..."That's a good idea....
you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
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Todays Thought: "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
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