Good Misty Morning....
a wet 34º this morning......
More rain later in the day....
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A Hamburger bed??
Time to get up.....
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Breakfast....Pete...?
We gotta put you on a diet........
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Looks like he's had to much party.....
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Weird Christmas tree....
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Checking out the snow...?
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I always did too.......
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Santa's gonna have a hard time this year....
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Okay..........
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Wikileaks exposes reason 4 Hudson river plane crash....
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I swear he looks just like someone I know.....
I had to look twice........
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I guess I better leave now......
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♥♥♥
~~ 'Doctor Martin,' John says, 'Whenever I get up after asleep, I feel dizzy for half an hour,
then I'm all right.'
'Then wait for half an hour before getting up,'replies Doctor Martin conclusively.
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~~ "A Chinese passenger train just broke a record by hitting
302 miles per hour.
Passengers called it 'a thrilling experience,'
while the guy in the bathroom called it 'the worst day of my life.'"
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~~ A driving instructor gave simple directions to his students.
He said, "Go on green, stop on red, and slow down when I
turn white."
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~~ I was talking to my preacher I noticed he had cut himself
shaving.
I asked him about it.
He said he was concentrating on his sermon and nicked his
chin.
I told him next time to concentrate on what he was doing and
cut his sermon.
☼
~~ In my police uniform and cruiser, I pulled in behind a
doughnut shop.
I spotted a shabbily dressed elderly man at the dumpster
filling a plastic bag with discarded doughnuts.
My heart went out to him.
I got out of the car, went inside and bought the poor soul a
couple of doughnuts, went outside and handed them to him.
"Here are some fresh ones for you."
"Oh, they're not for me," he said.
"I get them here every day to feed the birds."
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~~ "The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings
on Christmas morning is their husband." (Joan Rivers)
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~~ This fighter was taking a terrific beating.
After the bell rang, he staggered back to his corner.
The only advice his manager could offer,
“Let him hit you with his left for a while.....
Your face is crooked
☼
~~ A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa.
When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had
been. 'Oh, it was very disappointing,' he said.
'I didn't kill a thing.
I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital.'
☼
~~ An anthropology professor explained that highways often
followed landscape features laid down by glaciers.
Since both early man and even-earlier animals found food
and water at the foot of these glaciers, anthropologists
sometimes served on highway projects in order to identify any
bones or artifacts found during construction.
Looking around the class, his eyes fell on a fine football player
but indifferent student who slept through most of his classes.
"Well," the professor asked, "how would you account for a
dinosaur beside a highway?"
Startled, the newly awakened student replied:
"I don't know, sir...... Perhaps he was hit by a truck."
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~~ Q: Why didn't the tourist in the Arctic get any sleep?
A: He plugged his electric blanket into the toaster by mistake...
and kept popping out of bed all night.
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~~ When the company I worked for had an
employee-suggestion competition...
The winner was a man in my department who suggested we
post corporate memos on bulletin boards,
instead of printing 200 individual copies for distribution.
He got a helium balloon with the company logo and one
share of stock.
A memo announcing the prize went out to 200 people.
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Todays Thought: "The line separating good and evil passes not through, states, not between political parties either, but through every human heart." ~Alexander Solzhenitsyn~
If that's too deep....
"There is always an easy solution to every human problem... neat, plausible, and wrong." - H.L. Mencken
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