Good Morning, Friends.....
Well, feels like spring now....nice and warm...
I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop....
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A nice sunrise.....I took this a couple days ago.....
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Ready for breakfast??
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Nothing like a soup that stares at you while you eat!!
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A bunch of lazy critters......
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One way to settle him down......
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Another way??
What if he's bigger??
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I don't want!
An't got much left now!!
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She may be ugly...but she shore is sweet!!
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Get back...Get way back, he's gonna shake!!
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That's alot of tires!!
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Gee....Thanks!!
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See you Later...Going to the movies!!
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♥♥♥
~~ Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.
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~~ As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse
under the seat.
Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver
had found my bag.
When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers
surrounded me.
One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages
and a box containing the contents of my purse.
"We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses,"
he explained.
"I think you'll find everything there."
As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook,
the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch.
Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything
into your purse......
And we'd like to see just how you do it."
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~~ An ad in our church bulletin read:
Receptionist needed for busy chiropractic office.”
I faxed my resume and got called for an interview.
After hanging up, I realized I didn't know the name or
location of the business.
I found two listings for chiropractors in the phone book
and dialed the first number.
“Are you hiring a receptionist?” I asked politely.
“Why?” countered a cold-rasped voice.
“Do I sound that bad?”
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~~ On his first day of classes at a university,
a student took a front row seat in a literature course.
The professor told them they would be responsible for reading
five books, and that he would provide them with a list of
authors from which they could choose.
Then the professor ambled over to the lectern, took out his
class notes and began... "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook... "
The student was working feverishly to get down all the names,
when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
The student in back of him whispered,
"He's taking attendance."
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~~ Science has finally discovered why bees hum,........
they don't know the words.
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~~ When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country.
It's a whole different way of thinking.
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~~ "A little bird told me," she said.
I tried to figure out how a bird could possibly care about
what I was doing and then, tell my mother.
I went out and looked up...Sure enough, they were up there
flying around ready to squeal."
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~~ How did the blond break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree .
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~~ French actor Maurice Chevalier and U.S. comedian
Phil Silvers were chatting backstage one evening during a show,
when a group of lovely young women passed by.
Chevalier sighed longingly.
"Ah," he remarked, "if only I were twenty years older."
"Don't you mean twenty years younger?" Silvers asked.
"No. If I were twenty years older," Chevalier replied,
"these girls would not bother me the way they do!"
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~~ I asked my Sunday-school class of four to six-year-olds
If they believed miracles really did happen.
"I know they do," answered one boy confidently.
"How do you know?" I asked.
"Because when I cleaned my room and my mom walked in,
she said, 'It's a miracle!"
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~~ The chef instructs his apprentice:
"You take two thirds of water, one third of cream,
one third of broth..."
The apprentice: "But that makes four thirds already!"
The chef: "Well...just take a larger pot!"
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Todays thought: Chemical symbol for holy water = H2Omg ...
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