Good Morning, Friends and neighbors......
47º now but supposed to get warm today...
We have had a couple day's of chilly weather.
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Breakfast?? I don't think so!!
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Gotta have some pickles with it........
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I don't know?.. I would run from it too.....
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Looks like he's been in to that breakfast......
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Hey Guys....I'm not your Mama......
What do you think I am....your bed??
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Somebodys in a heap of touble....
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I gots it!!...
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Another one, that's been in that breakfast juice....
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What! you think you're William Tell??
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Yea, I guess that'll work......
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Well, if I can get my car out of this mess
I'll be gone......
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♥♥♥
~~ In her fight against childhood obesity,
first lady Michelle Obama is urging communities to make fresh
produce more available to young people,
even in liquor stores.
If your kid is hanging out at the liquor store,
obesity is the least of your problems.
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~~ Pete and Gus are having a good time in a bar.
Outside, there's a terrible thunderstorm.
Finally, Gus thinks that it's time to leave.
Since he has drunk a lot, he decides to walk home.
"But aren't you afraid of being struck by lightning?" Pete asks.
"Not at all, Gus sez;
Statistics shows that, in this part of the country,
one person per year gets struck by lightning...
and that one person died in the hospital three weeks ago."
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~~ I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure...
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~~ "This morning, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro announced that
he is stepping down, ending five decades of rule.
But the biggest surprise was when Castro announced that he’s
going to retire in Miami." --Conan O'Brien
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~~ SON: Dad, can you help me find the lowest common
denominator in this problem please?
FATHER: Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet.
I remember looking for it when I was a boy!
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~~ It was a family joke that my mother didn't like to cook
and avoided it if possible.
When a friend was visiting, Mom mentioned that two of the
burners on the stove weren't working.
My father gave Mom a look of surprise and said,
"Who told you?"
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~~ "The wife of Republican New York gubernatorial candidate
Carl Paladino said she accepts that her husband had an affair,
that he has a mistress, and the mistress had his baby.
He actually convinced her this is no big deal.
Guys, let me tell you this, don't try this at home.
This guy is a lawyer, a real estate developer, and a politician.
That is the trifecta of professional liars." —Jay Leno
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~~ In 1841, P. T. Barnum purchased Scudder's American
Museum in New York, which he soon turned into a prize
attraction.
In fact, so many visitors came to see its amazing exhibits that
long lines began to form outside the entrance.
In order to keep people moving through the museum,
Barnum posted a sign directing people to visit a novel attraction.
The sign's message? "TO THE EGRESS."
'Egress,' of course, is a synonym for 'exit'; a sucker,
as Barnum once observed, is born every minute.
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~~ Having fought the battle of the bulge most of my life,
I found the battle getting even harder as I approached older age.
One evening, after trying on slacks that were too tight,
I said to my wife, "I'll be so glad when we become grandparents.
After all, who cares if grandfathers are fat?"
His prompt reply: "Grandmothers."
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~~ Learn to enjoy your own company.
You are the one person you can count on living with
for the rest of your life.
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~~ One afternoon in the Georgia Statehouse,
representative Anne Mueller explained to House Speaker
Tom Murphy that her microphone had been switched off.
"Mr Speaker, will you please turn me on!" she requested.
"Thirty years ago," replied Murphy, "I would have tried!"
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~~ A lady in her forties walked into a milliner's to try on a hat.
The sales assistant fawned over her, declaring.
"You look wonderful in that hat.... Really,
it makes you look ten years younger when you wear it."
"Then I don't want it," exclaimed the customer.
"I can't afford to put on ten years every time I take my hat off!"
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Todays Thought: How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
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