Well, we got some rain yesterday, we needed it...
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What, what do you see?
I don't see anything?
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You fix him up, alright!
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I don't know good Chicken fried in Diesel oil....
would be....??
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Damn, looks like this person's been eating
the Diesel fried chicken....
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These two looks like they like chicken.......
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Oh, No........
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I don't know...I never.........
I use old "gunny sacks"
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Oh, you too....?
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Your a better man then me.....
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Eno's funny......
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Now, if I can get my ass out......I can go...
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♥♥♥
~~ recent research has proven that birthdays are healthy, the more you have, the longer you live..
☼
~~ An angry housewife met her husband at the front
door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol
and perfume.
"I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm,
"that there must be a very good reason for your coming
home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your
breath and another woman's perfume all over you."
"There is," he said. "I'd like breakfast."
☼
~~ Before Al Gore was American Vice President -
in fact, even before he became involved in politics -
he spent some time as a drummer for a small band
playing in local clubs.
He was in fact quite a good drummer, and he developed
quite a reputation for his impressive drum solos.
Some of his routines were incredible for their
mathematical precision.
They became known as the Al-Gore-rythms.
☼
~~ William Penn, the founder and mayor of Philadelphia,
had two aunts - Hattie and Sophia - who were skilled
in the baking arts.
One day, "Big Bill" was petitioned by the citizens of his
town because the three bakeries in the town had, during
the Revolution, raised the price of pies to the point that
only the rich could afford them.
Not wanting to challenge the bakeries directly,
he turned to his aunts and asked their advice.
But when they had heard the story, the two old ladies
were so incensed over the situation that they offered to
bake 100 pies themselves, and sell them for 2 cents
lower that any of the bakeries were charging.
It was a roaring success.
Their pies sold out quickly, and very soon they had
managed to bring down the price of all kinds of
pastry in Philadelphia.
In fact, even to this very day, their acheivements are
remembered as the remarkable Pie rates of Penn's aunts.
☼
~~ Over dinner, I explained the health benefits of a
colorful meal to my family.
"The more colors, the more variety of nutrients,"
I told them. Pointing to our food, I asked,
"How many different colors do you see?"
"Six," volunteered my daughter.
"Seven if you count the burned parts."
☼
~~ A lawyer was asked if he would like to become a
Jehovah's Witness.
He declined, stating that he hadn't seen the accident,
but said that he would still be interested in taking
the case.
☼
~~ The teacher was telling the class about plants that
have the word "dog" in front of them: dogrose,
dogwood, dog violet.
She asked the class if they could name another flower
with the prefix "dog."
Sally raised her hand and said, "Sure, Mrs. Bless,
a 'collie'flower!"
☼
~~ Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something
to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
☼
~~ Our co-worker Patrick shared his worst
workday ever.
He was at an appliance store and the delivery truck
had broken down, which meant he was flooded
with angry phone calls from customers.
One irate caller canceled the delivery and told
Patrick what he could do with it.
"I'm sorry," said Patrick.
"That's impossible.
I already have a stove, a vacuum cleaner and a
microwave up there."
☼
~~ The optometrist did a test on me whereby he sent a
jet of air into my eye.
He was impressed that I did not jump, as his clients
usually do, and said to me, "You have nerves of steel."
I looked at him and replied, "Yes. I'm a teacher."
☼
~~ To make a good salad is to be a brilliant diplomatist,
the problem is entirely the same in both cases.
To know exactly how much oil one must put with one's
vinegar.
☼
~~ A New York retail clerk was suffering from aching feet.
"It's all those years of standing," his doctor declared.
"You need a vacation.
Go to Miami, soak your feet in the ocean and you'll
feel better."
When the man got to Florida, he went into a hardware
store, bought two large buckets and headed for the beach.
"How much for two buckets of that seawater?"
he asked the lifeguard.
"A dollar a bucket," the fellow replied with a straight face.
The clerk paid him, filled his buckets, went to his hotel
room and soaked his feet.
They felt so much better he decided to repeat the treatment
that afternoon.
Again he handed the lifeguard two dollars.
The young man took the money and said, "Help yourself."
The clerk started for the water, then stopped in amazement.
The tide was out.
"Wow," he said, turning to the lifeguard.
"Some business you got here!"
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Todys Thought: America has the highest standard of living in the world. It's just a pity we can't afford it.
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