# 1,034

Good Morning.....A nice rainy day....
We're having a Thunder storm right now...
So I gotta hurry.....
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Happy Birthday, Cat......

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Oh, No... there goes breakfast.......

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Come on you guys... we gotta wash dishes...

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Our dishwasher...and he's good at it....

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There you go...playing around again.......

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Stop hollering you just don't like your bath.....

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I don't think so.......

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A weird looking fellow...

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Now this is a mean looking fellow...

maybe he hates everyone.......

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I just love "ENO" toons.....

He's so cool......

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Well, if I can get the dog out, I'll leave......

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♥♥♥+

~~ Went on a family vacation to Africa last year.

My mother-in-law was bitten by a black mamba.
Terrible thing to watch a snake dying in agony.

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~~ A friend of mine started making and selling land
mines that look like prayer mats.
I ask him how was business?
He said "just great, prophets are going through the ceiling".

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~~ TOP TEN THINGS THAT MEN
UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN
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~~ A state government employee sits in his office,
and out of boredom he decides to see what’s in his old
filing cabinet.
He pokes through the contents and comes across an old
brass lamp.
“This will look nice on my mantelpiece,” he decides and
takes it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him
three wishes.
“I wish for an ice cold diet Pepsi right now.”
He gets his Pepsi and drinks it.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second
wish.
“I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs
reside.”
Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing
him lustfully.
He tells the genie his third and last wish:
“I wish I’d never have to work ever again.”
POOF! he’s back in his government office.

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~~ Our cat, Figaro, comes home between 10 or 11 at
night to eat.
If he's late, I turn on the carport light and call him until
he appears.
One day my daughter was explaining to a friend where
we live, and her friend said, "Is that anywhere near the
house where the woman stands on her steps late at night
and sings opera?"

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~~ My favorite spot at our local zoo is the House of Night,
where nocturnal creatures crawl and fly about.
One very bright day, I stepped into the exhibit and was
plunged into total darkness.
Almost immediately, a small hand grabbed mine.
"And who do you belong to?" I asked.
His answer came swiftly:
"I'm yours till the lights come on."

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~~ I was leaving the groomer's with my dog when I
noticed a pet perfume in a display case.
It's a wonder that we didn't bowl each other over trying
to get it, because the tag line boldly announced:
"Strong enough for a man...but made for a Chihuahua."

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~~ After reading a display at a local paint store about
"smooshing"...a painting technique...my mother decided
to try it.
She walked up to the young salesman and asked,
"Do you have everything it takes for smooching?"

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~~ On a family vacation, we visited a chocolate factory
in Hershey, PA.
Amazed to see the candy flowing down the assembly line,
I reached to my right and put my arm around my wife.
"Do you remember the 'I Love Lucy' show,"
I asked nostalgically, "when Ethel and Lucy got jobs in
a candy factory?"
From my left, my wife said, "Say yes and maybe
he'll let you go."
I was hugging the wrong woman.

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~~ I do system support in a law firm.

The other day I had to log a user off and then back on.
I entered her initials and then she just gave me her
password (Rule No. 1 broken).
Her password is "genius".
After three tries and the system telling me
 "access denied,"
I asked her how to spell it.
She said, "G - E - N - I - O - U - S."
There's one in every crowd.


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~~ A judge scowled down at a repeat offender before him.
"Didn't I tell you the last time you were in my court room
that I never wanted to see you in here again?"
"Yes, Your Honor," the defendant replied. "That's exactly
what I told the police officer, but he insisted I come in
anyway!"

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Todays Thought: Remember: If you throw dirt, you're losing ground.

"Witchy" loved the phone call.....

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