Good Morning, Friends and neighbors....
We had a good weekend, Hot, but good...
We did get a sprinkle of rain....
☼
A cloudy Sunrise over a big corn field.....
The cows will eat good this winter.
☼
Talk about eating good, this guy is bringing home the bacon..
☼
Red neck breakfast....Pork skins......
☼
No....you can't have any for breakfast.....Bubba.
☼
He's brushing his teeth, so he'll be ready for breakfast....
☼
These guys are sleeping in....
I bet you open a can of tuna, they would jump up...
☼
Their waiting for their breakfast....
☼
This guy doesn't want to get his feet wet...
while looking for breakfast......
☼
Isn't this a nice looking calf?
One of the many next door.....
☼
I guess I better leave on this one...
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ Pete had just read the news that the richest man in the county had died.
He sat at the bar and cried into his beer. His friend Gus tried to comfort him.
"But Pete, you weren't even related to him."
"I know......... That's why I'm crying!"
☼
~~ A person who feels he is indispensable should put
his fist in a pail of water and see what an enormous hole
is left behind when he pulls it out.
☼
~~ Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow
on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?
☼
~~ Wandering through an art museum,
Carlene and James pointed out their favorite sculptures
to their three-year-old son Logan.
As they entered a room full of nude statues, Logan
observed, "They're all naked.
Is that why they can't go outside?"
☼
~~ The hard-drinking Mickey Mantle often played
with a hangover... and hit home runs anyway.
How did he manage it?
He once admitted that he occasionally saw three
balls heading toward home plate...
and simply swung at the middle one!
☼
~~ In 1992, Ozzy Osbourne announced that he planned
to spend more time with his family and that his next tour
(aptly named the 'No More Tours Tour') would be his last.
Three years later, Ozzy released another album and,
shortly thereafter, embarked upon a new world tour.
Its name? Retirement Sucks!
☼
~~ A well-worn one dollar bill and a similarly
distressed twenty dollar bill arrived at a Federal
Reserve Bank to be retired.
As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned,
they struck up a conversation.
The twenty dollar bill reminisced about its travels
all over the county.
"I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed.
"Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest
restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway,
and even a cruise to the Caribbean."
"Wow!" said the one dollar bill.
"You've really had an exciting life!"
"So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been
throughout your lifetime?"
The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist
Church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church ...."
The twenty dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"
☼
~~ An exasperated mother, whose son was always
getting into mischief, finally asked him,
"How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said,
"Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep
slamming the door until St. Peter says
'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
☼
~~ The economy is so bad right now, a lot of women in
Beverly Hills are being forced to marry for love.
☼
~~ A guy came home to his wife and said to her:
Guess what?... I've found a great job.
A 10 AM start, 2 PM finish, no overtime, no weekends
and it pays $600 a week!"
"That's great," his wife said.
"Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed.......
"You start on Monday."
☼
~~ "I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend,"
an embarrassed Ruby said after a church service,
"when my husband walked out during your sermon."
"I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied.
"It's not a reflection on you, sir," insisted the church goer.
"Gus has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a
child."
☼
☼
Today Thought: Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.
☺=+++++++++++++++++++++++++=☺
No comments:
Post a Comment