Nothing going on...just hanging on.....
Nice weather....good friends.....
☼
Hey Pete, how about this cool computer?
☼
You'll never catch The hummer....
They too fast.... In the last 25 years of feeding hummers,
and having cats...I have only saw one caught.
☼
Hey, Dogs need Cheeseburgers too.....
☼
Gotta keep their strength up so they can fly....
☼
Wow...what a fat cat.....
☼
He's looking for a cheese cat burger.......
☼
Awww, good friends.....
☼
Handle her now....wait for a year!
It'll be a different story....
☼
Mr. Wrinkles looks so cute......
☼
Ha-ha, scared you didn't I....
☼
Funny toon.....
☼
Okay, Okay....I'm turning around....
Every ones damn picky....
☼☼
♥♥♥
~~ Pete bought a set of Ginzu knives for only three easy payments of $29.95 and they came with a lifetime guarantee.
When the handles fell off, He returned the knives with his lifetime guarantee asking for a refund.
They wrote back saying, "The guarantee was for the
lifetimeof the knives.
Obviously, the knives are dead, so the guarantee is no
longer valid."
☼
~~ Michelle Obama's got a new book out....
it's called "Spain on $75,000 a Day!"
☼
~~ I bought this car on hire purchase, -
10 per cent down and the balance to be paid on receipt
of several threatening letters.
☼
~~ Q. How do you know when your honeymoon is over?
A. When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast.
☼
~~ "I'll bet you have to think twice before you leave
your wife alone at night," said one man to the other.
"I'll say." replied the second.
"First, I have to think up a reason for going out.
Second, I have to think up why she can't go with me."
☼
~~ I was explaining to our nine-year-old son some
of the things he could do to help so he wouldn't feel
left out of the activities involving our newly arrived
baby daughter.
I finished by telling him that when his sister was older,
he could even feed her.
"Oh, Mom," he replied in a plaintive voice,
"I can’t even remember to feed the dog!"
☼
~~ A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for
exceeding the posted speed limit.
He asked the driver her name.
She said, "I'm Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia
Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan
visiting my daughter in Indiana."
As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment
and then put away his summons book and pen, and said,
"Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
☼
~~ One evening I was driving my eight-year-old daughter
to her grandparents home for an overnight stay.
It was late, there was very little traffic, and we were
enjoying a peaceful ride.
It was a far cry from the usual chaos surrounding us
when I drive her to various activities during rush hour.
My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said,
"I have a question."
"What do you want to know?" I responded.
"When you're driving," she asked, "are YOU ever the idiot?"
☼
~~ "I found a great way to attract money...work!"
☼
~~ Pete was on his way to a pet shop when he bumped
into Gus...... "I'm going to buy a mongoose," he
explained.
"Can you get one for me?" said Gus.
"I would but I don't know the plural of mongoose,"
said Pete.
"Is it mongooses?" "Is it mongeese?
I'd be embarrassed if I said the wrong word."
"No problem," replied Gus.
"Just say, I'd like a mongoose, please.
And, while you're at it, I'll have another one."
☼
~~ A child came crying to his mother and complained
that he has severe stomach-ache.
She told him, “It is because your belly is empty.
Come and have some food.” The child obeyed.
The next day the mother had a heavy head ache.
The child consoled her, saying innocently, “Mommy,
it is because your head is empty!”
☼
~~ The Sunday school teacher asked,
"How many of you want to go to heaven?"
Every hand went up but Jeff's.
The teacher asked, "Don't you want to go to heaven?"
Jeff said, "Not with this bunch going!"
☼
~~ One man complained to a friend, "Used to be that the first
person a woman talked to about having a baby was her husband.
Now it's her boss."
☼
~~ Two drunks were walking down the railroad tracks.
after a couple of miles, one of them says,
"Man, all these steps are killing me!"
The other drunk replies, "It's not all these steps;
it's these darned low handrails!
☼
☼
Todays Thought: The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself he becomes wise.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
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