Good Morning, Friends and neighbors....
Well, we are into a heat spell, 90-100º degrees
for the next couple days...
☼
Breakfast?? are you kidding me.....
Had one heart attack, don't want another....
☼
Feed the baby!....he's hungry......
☼
Give the Lion a Massage.... not me.....
☼
He's just hanging around........
Party on, Dude...
☼
Nice place for a dump....
☼
Not me....
☼
That would cause a stir......
☼
That seal gets around, don't he.... he's a bomber.......
☼
You know I believe this!
Weird...
☼
Nice way to retire and get even......
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ New Rule in Air Traveling.......
Air fee: "In the unlikely event of loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down.
To start the flow of oxygen, simply insert your credit card."
☼
~~ A blonde asked a man what time it was, and he told her it was 4:45.
The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
☼
~~ Safety is a major concern at the company where I work.
So I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise.
"Does anyone know," I asked a few guys, "what the speed limit is in our parking lot?"
The long silence that followed was interrupted when one of them piped up. "That depends.
Do you mean coming to work or leaving.......
☼
~~ Former Pittsburgh Pirates' slugger Ralph Kiner was telling his broadcasting buddy, Lindsey Nelson, about his wife, the former tennis star Nancy Chaffee.
"When I married Nancy, I vowed I'd beat her at tennis someday.
After six months, she beat me 6-2.
After a year, she beat me 6-4.
After we were married a year and a half,
I pushed her to 7-5.
Then it happened she had a bad day and I had a good one, and I beat her 17-15."
"Good for you, Ralph," exclaimed Lindsey.
"Was she sick?" "Of course not!" Kiner snapped indignantly.
"But she was eight months pregnant."
☼
~~ Mother: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
Son: I don't know. The dentist kept it.
☼
~~ Grandpa's Poem
I finally met the perfect girl
I couldn't ask for more
She's blind and deaf and dumb as a rock
And owns a liquor store ....
☼
~~ Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
Because it said, "Sorry, try again."
☼
~~ Two guys from New York City were in heaven for about a year.
One was a preacher, the other a taxi driver.
One day the Lord was making his rounds when the preacher asked Him if He had a minute.
"Sure" said the Lord. What's the problem?"
"Well" said the former parson, "I'm not very happy here in heaven"
"Why not?" asked the Lord.
"Well, I don't like to complain Sir but that taxi driver is getting better treatment than me and I don't think that's right since I preached your word on earth very faithfully for 52 years"
"Well son," said the Lord, "truth is, when you were doing your work, most folks were sleeping.
But you know when that man did his job, they were praying!"
☼
~~ A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and Ill be yours forever.
The guy says thanks for the warning....
☼
~~ When I worked in my school library, a very confused guy asked me for help.
"The computer just started typing in Latin.
I can't understand it," he said.
It turns out he was typing in italics.
☼
☼
Todays Thought: " Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away "
►◄~~~~~~~~~~~☺~~~~~~~~~~~►◄
No comments:
Post a Comment