Happy Fathers day, to all, The guys out there!
Well, gonna be a hot one, and here I am
getting the sicknest back....
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Isn't this a nice greene county farm......
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Hey, Hey Dogs don't booze....
I hope that's tea....
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Ha-Ha, I gots your stuff........
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Hey, Bubba....That's a funny looking cap......
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Hitch hicker??
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A whole lotta stew there...huh...Pete....
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R2D2 cat? Does not compute!...
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He's saying....What the......................!
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Old Skippy don't want it too.....Can you tell?
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Well time to hobble down the road......
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♥♥♥
~~ My daughter, Ree, and her family were invited to an Italian-
themed dinner party, and Ree was asked to bring the dessert.
She is not a big dessert eater and, as a working mother,
did not have the time to make something to feed 20 people.
To overcome this problem, Ree bought a large cake and had the store
write MADE IN ITALY in icing.
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~~ The 10 Best Caddy Replies;
# 10 -- Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
# 9 -- Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on
this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
# 8 -- Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
# 7 -- Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
# 6 -- Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir.
That would be too much of a coincidence."
# 5 -- Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time.
It's too much of A distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
# 4 -- Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
# 3 -- Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
# 2 -- Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course.
We left that an hour ago."
# 1 -- Best Caddy Comment Golfer: "That can't be my ball,
it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
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~~ I was always told....Behind every successful man is a wife who
takes much of the credit and a government that takes much of the cash.
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~~ Nelson told me; "I always look for a woman who has
a tattoo.
I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay,
here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll
regret in the future."
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~~ The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on
emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to
the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," said she.
"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas,
"how about the opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
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~~ CUSTOMER: Waiter, there's a fly in my chop suey.
WAITER: That's nothing. Wait'll you see what's in your fortune cookie.
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~~ The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health
and was giving an oral test.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked,
"How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming
at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably
the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered,
"A basketball coach?"
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~~ CUSTOMER: Waiter, there's a fly in my chop suey.
WAITER: That's nothing.
Wait'll you see what's in your fortune cookie.
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Todays Thought; "They always say that time changes things,
but you actually have to change them yourself."
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