Good Morning, Friends and Neighbors.....
Hot, Yesterday, and all the rest of the week...
Scotiagold....is it warm up your way?
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Going to be another hot, sunny day.....
This mornings sunrise....
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Breakfast??
Rather have bacon....mmmm
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Looks like he's had a few good meals.....!
He's a big one......
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We an't no hound dog........
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The kiddies have gotta play....!
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What! you let them get away??
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I guess this tells my age?
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Tricky Dick sez; Read Gus's BLOG....!
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Eno stays in trouble......But I like him.....
He's cool....
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Okay, Okay...I'll leave now....!
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♥♥♥
~~ In a department store, a difficult customer and a very
patient clerk were having a hard time getting together.
Nothing the clerk provided was suitable.
Finally, the finicky shopper said in annoyance, "Can't you find
a smarter clerk to serve me?"
"No," said the saleswoman.
"The smarter clerk saw you coming and disappeared.”
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~~ Boudreaux and Thibodeaux was workin' for da BP and dey
tole' em to git in dere pirogues (boat) and for to go out to dat
island and start cleaning birds...
Well Boudreaux and Thibodeaux didn't git herd from in a
bunch of time so da BP sens out a supervixor to check on da
boys...
Well ya just know dat dem two had plucked, gutted and cut da
heads off'n 50 or 60 birds befo' dey was tole what 'clean
dem birds means' .. Dey was sure cleanin' da birds... Southern Style.
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~~ A little girl was in church with her mother when she
started to feel ill.
"Mommy," she said: "Can we leave now?"
"No," her mother replied.
"Well, I think I'm gonna be sick, Momma!"
"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the
church and then behind a bush."
After about 60 seconds, the little girl returned to her seat.
"Were you sick?" her mom asked.
"Yes," she replied.
"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the
church and returned so quickly?" her mother asked.
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy.
They have a box next to the front door that says,
'For the sick.'"
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~~ A college professor had the mysterious habit of removing
a tennis ball from his jacket pocket as he walked into the
lecture hall each morning.
He would set it on the corner of the podium.
After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick
up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the
room.
No one ever understood why he did this, until one day ...
A student fell asleep during the lecture.
The professor didn't miss a word of his lecture while he
walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball, and threw
it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head.
The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into
his jacket, removed a baseball ...
No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester!
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~~ The director laid out the scene for the hero, saying,
"All right, John.
You are coming down the road in the stagecoach.
Suddenly, you're attacked by Indians.
Start shooting.
A dozen Indians will fall each time you pull the trigger,
but don't act surprised."
Off to the side stood a contingent of Indians.
They were disgruntled because of the anti-Indian slant
of the movie, of which they hadn't been aware when they
signed to work in the movie.
The camera crew took positions, the actors were cued,
and the shooting started.
The hero came barreling along in the stagecoach.
The Indians came at him, but decided to attack for real.
When the hero whipped out his gun and started to shoot,
not one Indian fell.
As they neared him, the hero yelled to the director,
"They're not falling."
The director yelled back, "Now you can act surprised!"
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~~ During the first week of school a first-grade teacher
was lecturing her young students on safety.
She asked if they knew what the colors of the traffic lights meant.
"I know," replied one little girl.
"Red means stop.
Green means go.
Yellow means go a little faster."
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~~ My husband came down with a nasty cold, and I gave him
some orange-flavoured sample tablets we'd received in the
mail. "Take these," I told him. "They're chewable."
Seconds later, bubbles started fizzing past his lips. I retrieved
the sample package so I could read the directions.
Step No. 1 read: "Dissolve completely in water."
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~~ Two buddies and I had long been planning a fishing trip.
At last we were motoring out of the bay, while our wives were
back on shore shopping.
"Just think,"Pete commented, "while we're going out the inlet,
the girls are going in the outlets.
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~~ My kids have never been thrilled about naps,
but one day they were putting up more of a fuss than usual.
In the middle of the tantrums, a friend called.
"What's all the commotion?" she asked.
"Nothing," I said. "Just the siesta résistance."
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~~ Doctors meeting
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention.
Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together.
One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us
with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can
go to when we have problems."
The others agreed.
Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we
take some time right now to hear each other out?"
The other three agreed.
The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to
kill my patients."
The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I
find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I
can so I can buy the things I want."
The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and
often get my patients to sell them for me."
The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not
supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep a
secret..."
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Todays Thought: Let our advance worrying become advance
thinking and planning ....
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