Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.....Friends, and neighbors......

Well, the weatherman has now changed the forcast for

this weekend.... gonna get some rain now....

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The farmer next door has gotten a bunch of calfs...

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Okay....Okay.....

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Thats a no...no... I have seen the results, not pretty!

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Breakfast??

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Mama.......

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No....NO...Not that.....

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A tree climber??

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Now....he cool.....

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Remember!!

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I'm leaving on this one!!

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♥♥♥

~~ My grandmother has Altzheimers

So we bought her a subscription to Altzheimers Monthly which was a
rip-off because it is the same issue every month.

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~~ A doctor is talking to a car mechanic,
"Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical
care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model,
it hasn't changed since Adam;
but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."

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~~ Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.
Doctor: How do you feel?
Patient: A little down in the mouth.

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~~ A: I’m in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don’t have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can’t afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the
mouse come to the trap.
A: I don’t have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in
the trap.
A: I don’t have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don’t have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!

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~~ I am always getting those return address labels from charities
wanting money.
The other day, I got one from an Alzheimer's group.
Funny though, they forgot to put my street name on them!

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~~ I think testing cosmetics on animals is wrong.
Although my dog does look pretty sexy with some eyeliner and a
bit of lipstick on.

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~~ Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?
Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.

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~~ American scientists have finally developed a car that runs on water!
Sadly, so far it only works with the water from the Gulf of Mexico.

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~~ Sadie goes to see her rabbi and complains about her bad
headaches.
She whines, cries, and talks about her poor living conditions for hours.
All of a sudden, Sadie shouts, overjoyed,
"Rabbi, your holy presence has cured me!
My headache is gone!"
To which the rabbi replies, "No Sadie, it is not gone.
I have it now."

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Todays Thought:  Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the

person who doesn't get it.