Good Morning, Everyone....Ready for the long holiday?
I'm not.... Rather be in Florida.....
Were the weather is nice and the ladies are warm....
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Thunder storms last night.....Pouring down rain......
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I planted this dwarf plum tree 6-7 years ago...
First plums on it this year....
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Say; THANKS!
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Oh, My......what big teeth you have.......
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This guy/gal has some long legs....better to run from big teeth..
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I think you just hiding from big teeth.....
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You don't need to hide....you an't a bite....yet.
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Now...that's a good hiding place......
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Bagged and ready to go....Huh?
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The pilot??
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I think I better leave on that one!
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~~ American scientists have finally developed a car that runs on water!
Sadly, so far it only works with the water from the Gulf of Mexico.
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~~ Gus remembering his years as a young father laughed and said.
"When I became a man.
I put away childish things.
Otherwise I would have run over toys whenever I pulled out of the garage."
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~~ Why doesn't Muhammed Ali drink milk?
Because it turns to butter before he gets it to his mouth.
(I know BAD joke.....I'm a bad boy......)
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~~ The instructions and fine print in the manual for my new electronic
humidity sensor intimidated me, so I delayed setting it up.
Once I finally began, my fear was eliminated when I read the fifth hint in
the four-page instruction manual, which stated:
"Under no circumstances should you let it get to you!
It's only a computerlike device and you cannot screw it up unless you
throw it out the window, in which case it will not be under warranty!"
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~~ Life insurance is weird.
The company bets that you'll live;
you bet you won't, invest a fortune, and hope they win!
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~~ President Obama said that we rely too much on gadgets.
He gave a passionate speech about technology,
but he had to stop when the teleprompter broke.
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~~ As soon as Rabbi Levy enters his office, there's Arnold waiting for
him. "I need your advice, Rabbi," says Arnold.
"OK Arnold, how can I help, what's bothering you?" asks Rabbi Levy.
"Rabbi," asks Arnold, "is it right for one man to make money from
another man's errors?"
"No, Arnold, it certainly isn't." replies Rabbi Levy
"Are you absolutely sure about that?" asks Arnold
"About that, Arnold, I'm absolutely positive," replies the Rabbi.
"I'm so pleased to hear you say this," says Arnold,
"so could you please return the $300 I gave you to marry me to my
wife Sadie?"
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~~ Dylan, my seven-year-old grandson, would not eat onions,
but never explained why.
I was preparing hamburger steaks for supper one day while he was
visiting, and he was asking questions about the meal.
"When I started to cut up the onions, Dyland said,
"Grandma, I can't eat the 'yunyons"......They make my eyes drool."
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~~ The wife appeared at the breakfast table in curlers and a worn
bathrobe.
The husband looked up from his newspaper and said,
"Why can't you look like you did when we were first married?"
"How can I?" she snapped back....... "I'm not pregnant!"
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~~ A little boy worrying through his very first day at school raised his
hand for permission to go to the washroom, then returned to the class
a few moments later to report that he couldn't find it.
Dispatched a second time with explicit directions, he still couldn't find it.
So this time the teacher asked a slightly older boy to act as guide.
Success crowned his efforts.
"We finally found it," the older boy told the teacher.
"He had his pants on backward."
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Todays Thought: Life is partly a struggle to keep the money coming in,
and to keep the hair from coming out.
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