Well we didn't get any of the bad storms...
They pass right by us...we did get some wind.....
But all in all It was a nice day......
☺
There goes my breakfast...looks like you ate the burger meat...
☺
Damn....he couldn't wait to be fed.......
☺
Sorry bout that.......
☺
What you looking at?? I'm not laffin....
☺
He's found out what you can see on the web......
☺
Okay....I hope you did a good job.....
☺
I an't pullin your leg, or your finger....!
☺
Okay...fixed the car......
☺
See you later...gotta go shopping.......
☺
♥♥♥
☺
~~ Three mothers were sitting around comparing notes on their exemplary offspring.
"There never was a daughter more devoted than my Alice,"said Mrs. Davis with a sniff.
"Every summer she takes me to the Catskills for a week, and every
winter we spend a week at Delray Beach ."
"That's nothing compared to what my Anna does for me,"
declared Mrs. Jones proudly.
"Every winter she treats me to two weeks in Miami ,
and in the summer two weeks in the Hamptons,
in my own private guest house."
Mrs. Smith sat back with a proud smile.
"Nobody loves her mother like my Jackie does..... Nobody."
"So what does she do?" asked the two women, turning to her.
"Three times a week she gets into a cab, goes to the best psychiatrist
in the city, and pays him a hundred and fifty dollars an hour -
just to talk about me!”
☺
~~ The best thing to give an enemy is forgiveness;
to a friend, your heart; to a child, a good example; to a father, deference;
to a mother, good conduct; to yourself, respect; to all, charity.
☺
~~ Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following
took place.
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Jack as he stepped
out of the shower.
"Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn
like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money."
☺
~~ I was mugged twice last year.
The odds of getting mugged once are 1 in 50.
The odds of getting mugged twice are 1 in 2,500.
The odds that I got mugged twice last year because I look like the
kind of guy that would calculate those odds? 1 in 1.
☺
~~ The secretary in our mental-health clinic chose a new screensaver --
a picture of a dancing teapot playing the children's song,
"I'm a Little Teapot."
Seeing this, our child psychiatrist posted a message on the secretary's
desk: "Your computer is suffering from an identity disorder."
☺
~~ Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunami to arise,
Hurricanes to sway around,
Nobody teaches how to choose a wife
Natural disaster just happen !!!!!!!!!!!
☺
~~ A couple who were having trouble having a baby went to see a doctor.
The doctor gave him a revolutionary new injection made from monkey
glands, which worked perfectly.
Nine months and two weeks later, his wife had a baby.
When the nurse came out of the delivery room with the news,
he asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?"
"We won't know until it comes down off the light fixtures."
☺
~~ They say that marriage makes a woman dizzy, and it's true.
As soon as I got a husband, I lost my balance at the bank.
☺
~~ After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science
section without luck, a customer looked to me for help.
He showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it; Thesaurus.
☺
~~ After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season with his
slingshot, the court clerk suggested setting up a date for him to return
with both the money for the fine and proof of community service.
"That way," she said innocently, "you can kill two birds with one stone."
☺
☺
Todays Thought: Be who you are and say what you feel...
because those that matter...
don't mind...and those that mind...don't matter!
(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)¤(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)
Parrot still ain't home...I bet some of the illegals at the Crozet apple orchard ate him...Naa, the government sees to it they eat better than that....
ReplyDeletePete