A little windy, but good.
Are you ready for tomorrow?
☺
Flowers are blooming......arn't these beautiful?
☺
Tulips blooming, but they need some work....
☺
He's watching my flowers...making sure no pickers....
☺
If that's not enough, the ninja cat will get you....
☺
Yep, it's nap time....
☺
Oh...my.. I think you didn't stop fast enough...I guess you were texting..
Redneck dog house......
☺
Happy Easter...Australia...
☺
Ouch.....ouch!
☺
Yep...there gone....
☺
Good for you, Max
☺
♥♥♥
~~ I'd recently been flirting with the idea of opening a little bed and
breakfast in a small town in R-ville to keep me busy during my retirement
years.
I happily shared my plans with my friend, Pete, who immediately gave
me a dose of reality by saying,
"You don't cook!
What are you going to have, a "Bed and Pop - Tart?"
☺
~~ One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that
you end up being governed by your inferiors.
☺
~~ Junior was being chided for his low grades.
Little Robert, who lived a few doors away, was help up as an example.
"Robert doesn't get C's and D's does he?" asked his father.
"No" Junior admitted, "But he's different.......
He has very bright parents."
☺
~~ "How long have you been working here?" one employee said to
another.
"Ever since the boss threatened to fire me."
☺
~~ The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on
emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor,
"Mr. Nichols: What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?" "Elation."
"How about the opposite of woe, Mr. Wilson?"
"I believe that's giddyup," the student replied.
☺
~~ A priest and a rabbi arrived at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said:
"Can I help you, gentlemen?"
"I hope so," said the priest. Father Feherty and Rabbi Michaels, we've
just died and we would like to be welcomed into Heaven."
St. Peter studied his clipboard for their names.
"I'm afraid not," he said.
"You're not on my entry list."
"But we must be," they chorused.
"We're pillars of our respective faiths."
St. Peter scratched his head.
"I'll tell you what I'll do: I'll send you down to Hell for the time being
and if Satan is happy to transfer you up here, I'll accept you into Heaven.
So St Peter sent them on their way, chuckling to himself because he
knew full well that Satan never lets anyone go to Heaven.
But fifteen minutes later, the priest reappeared at the Pearly Gates.
"I don't believe it!" said St. Peter....... "Satan let you come back?"
"Yes," said the priest.
"He was in a good mood and said that for twenty bucks each we could
escape from Hell and enjoy an eternal afterlife in Heaven."
"So where is the rabbi?" inquired St. Peter.
"I don't know," said the priest.
"But when I left he had got Satan down to $19.50."
☺
~~ The price of a stamp is going up to 44 cents.
It's out of control.
If only there was some other way to send written messages...
if anyone can think of anything just e-mail me."
☺
~~ A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule.
"Alright," the lawyer says looking through his papers.
"You owe me $1000 down and $417.58 cents each month for the
next thirty-six months.
"What! That sounds like a car payment schedule," retorted the client.
"Your right. It's mine."
☺
~~ On a hot summer afternoon, a beautiful young woman came across
a secluded pool, largely hidden from view by a row of bushes.
After checking that nobody was around, she took off all her clothes,
but just as she was about to jump in, a man appeared from behind the
bushes.
"I've been watching you!" he yelled, "this is private farm land, and I'm
the owner.
Swimming is this pool is strictly prohibited."
"You could have told me that before I undressed!" she said.
The farmer replied: "Swimming is prohibited; undressing isn't."
☺
~~ As president of the United States, Herbert Hoover was obligated to
attend a lot of state dinners and listen to many after-dinner speakers.
His main complaint: They talked too long.
Hoover came up with a clever way to get a boring orator to cut his
speech short and sit down.
He'd pass over a note telling the speaker, "Your fly is open."
☺
☺
Todays Thought: We are like snowflakes. Alone, we are insignificant.
<>(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)♣(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)<>
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