Wear your green today.....
☺
Have a great Day.......
Or Super Cat will take care of ya!
Don't miss any....Bubba.
Oh, Wow....pass some my way.....
I does not know......
She's watchin her cat stories......
I don't know what to say.....?
An't that the truth!!
Yep, it does......
☺
♥♥♥
☺
~~ An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at
Shannon Airport.
"I've come to meet my brother," said the Irishman.
"He's due to fly in from America in an hour's time.
It's his first trip home in forty years".
"Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the American.
"I'm sure I won't," said the Irishman, "after all, he's been away for a long
time".
"I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the American.
"Of course he will," said the Irishman.
"Sure, an' I haven't been away at all".
☺
~~ His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were
questioning Finnegan.
"Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant.
"She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Irishman.
☺
~~ The teacher asked: "What was the name of the person in Greek
mythology who was half man and half animal?"
Pete raised his hand.
"Yes" the teacher nodded.
"Buffalo Bill!"
☺
~~ Showing off his estate to his new girlfriend, Mr Shedd said,
"Here is one of my swimming pools.
I keep it filled with cold water for my friends who like to swim in cold
water."
"How considerate," the lady remarked.
"And here," he came to the second pool, "is a pool I keep filled with
warm water for those of my friends who like warm water."
"I'm impressed," the lady admitted.
"And finally," he said, "here is my third pool."
The woman looked down and was perplexed.
"But Alfie, this one's empty."
"But of course," Mr Shedd smiled.
"Not all of my friends like to swim."
☺
~~ The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have
thought she'd died and gone to heaven when she got my very patient
son on the phone.
At the end of her long sales pitch, she asked,
"Do you mind if we send someone out to give you an estimate?"
"Not at all," my son said.
"When would be a good time?"
"As soon as I dig a basement," he replied.
☺
~~ Dubliner proposes to his girlfriend on Saint Patrick’s Day and gives
her a ring with a synthetic diamond.
"You cheap bum!" she yells. "This isn’t even real."
"I know," he says.
"But in honor of Saint Patrick, I thought I’d buy you a sham-rock."
☺
~~ Pete was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains.
The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum.
"It's to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains.
When the plane landed Pete rushed up to her.
"Miss," he said,
"I'm meetin' me wife right away.
How do I get the gum out of me ears?"
☺
~~ Some guy at the bus stop earlier hit me on the legs with a stick for
no reason.
Naturally, I retaliated and beat the living shit out of him.
Just for good measure, I kicked his Labrador as well.
☺
~~ A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect
me to show it to you."
☺
~~ On the Friday before Christmas, a group of tuberculosis patients
at the VA hospital in Springfield, Missouri, were filing past the
fluoroscope for a checkup and the atmosphere was none too cheerful.
But with the last patient it changed.
When the doctor looked at the man's chest through the screen,
he was at first dumbfounded and then amused to read the words
"Merry Christmas."
The patient had shaped the season's greeting from a roll of wire solder
and taped it to his chest.
☺
~~ WISDOM FROM MILITARY TRAINING MANUALS
'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.' - US.Air Force Manual -
'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never
encountered automatic weapons.' - General MacArthur -
'You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.' -
Infantry Sgt.-
'Tracers work both ways.' - Army Ordnance Manual-
☺
~~ Suburbia is where the houses are farther apart and the payments
are closer together.
☺
☺
Todays Thought: A hangover is something to occupy a head that
wasn't used to the night before.
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