Storm coming tomorrow, but not as bad as last time....
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Two feet of Snow??
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Sun glasses don't help...your going to melt.....
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Smile, for the picture......
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Drunk again.....I guess I've been there......
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It virbervates too........
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A Bad Apple??
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Are you gonna cook it...or Smoke it??
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I bet she's gonna disappear...
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I thought this toon was funny.....
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♥♥♥
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~~ Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking
about things.
Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?
he asked his mother.
He thinks a lot, replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming
up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.
Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked,
So why do you have so much hair?
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~~ Recently I sat in a restaurant watching two older men go at it.
It quickly grew heated as one of them declared, "I'm so mad,
I'm taking you off my pallbearer list!"
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~~ I figured out why Uncle Sam wears a tall hat.
It comes in handy when he passes it around.
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~~ Clearly, wife and I need to brush up on our flirting.
The other might, after I crawled into bed next to her,
she wrapped her arms around me, drew a deep breath, and whispered,
Mmm, that vicks smells good." ]
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~~ My musical director wasn't happy with the performance of one of
our percussionists.
Repeated attempts to get the drummer to improve failed.
Finally, in front of the orchestra, the director said in frustration,
"When a musician just can't handle his instrument, they take it away,
give him two sticks and make him a drummer!"
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section:
"And if he can't handle that, they take away one of his sticks and make
him a conductor."
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~~ Q: What do you call a sausage that has been stolen?
A: A missing link.
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~~ When my daughter was little, we took a vacation to Florida.
Seated on the airplane near the wing, I pointed out to Sherry that we
were above the ocean.
"Can you see the water?" I asked her.
"No," she said, peering out the window at the wing,
"but I can see the diving board."
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~~ A little boy was taken to the dentist.
It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled.
"Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you
like for that tooth?"
"Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.
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~~ My five-year-old daughter came home from school one day and
said the teacher had told them all about the raisins in the rivers.
After a few puzzled moments.
I figured it out: She had learned about "currents"
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Q: Why does New York have so many lawyers and New Jersey have
so many toxic waste dumps?
A: New Jersey got first choice.
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Todays Thought: "If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? "
(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)☼(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)(ºOº)
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