Were having some great weather...
I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop....
I just know it's coming....
♫
Was thinking of pizza for breakfast, but I lost my appetite.....
♫
That's a thought...maybe beer?? Nope, "Witchy" won't like that....
♫
Oh, no...she's all broke up.......
♫
Bury her here??
♫
Look at that hairdo.........wow!
♫
After seeing his parents brutally murdered Shadow swore vengeance
on criminals..........
♫
Oh, no....not Mom.....
♫
Maybe I need to lose some.....
♫
I'll leave on this one......
♫
♥♥♥
♫
~~ As my sister relaxed on the couch, her head comfortably leaning
against the crook of her husband's arm, her cell phone beeped.
It was a text message from her husband: "Move"
♫
~~ My ten-year-old daughter, Courtney, was describing, what her
future would be like.
She told me she would have three dogs.
"Why three?" I asked.
Courtney said that when she slept, she'd have one big dog to rest her
head on like a pillow, and a small one cuddled uner each arm.
"Oh," I replied, "So if you're in bed with the three dogs around you and
in your arms, what about your husband?"
Courtney was quiet for a moment as she thought this through.
Finally she said, "He can get his own dog!"
♫
~~ "Spring Break is this week.
It gives the college kids a switch from binge drinking on campus.
Now they can binge drink on the beach." -David Letterman
♫
~~ While at a water park, my four-year-old son and I were sitting on a
bench eating ice cream.
I had on a pink-and-black-striped swimsuit.
A very beautiful young woman with a gorgeous figure walked by,
and she happened to be wearing a similar suit.
My son looked at her, then at me.
"Look, Mom!" he said.
"That lady has on a swimsuit just like yours, only hers is a different
shape."
♫
~~ Elias Howe, the inventor of the zip fastener, is to be honored with
a posthumous peerage.
From now on, he will be known as the Lord of the Flies.
♫
~~ A couple of years ago when I was a CNA on a telemetry floor,
several of us were sitting around the nurses' station just winding down
the shift.
We were sitting next to the telemetry monitors when a patient rang in
and on speaker we heard him say in a loud and pitiful voice,
"Can you send my nurse in" I'm having pain!"
To that the monitor tech inquired, "Where are you having pain?"
The patient replied in all seriousness, "In Room 221"
♫
~~ To get his mind off his losing streak at the racetrack,
I took my friend horseback riding.
Being a novice, he freaked when his mount took off.
"How do I stop?" he yelled.
"Bet on it!" I hollered back.
♫
~~ A young associate was romantically ambushed in a darkened room
of the law firm.
After months of the social isolation that comes from eighty hour work
weeks, the associate was happy to reciprocate.
However, when asked by a friend to identify the lover,
the associate was puzzled.
"All I know for sure is that it was a partner...I had to do all the work."
♫
~~ Some women say they can tell how good a man is in bed by watching
him eat dinner.
If he eats quickly and takes large bites, he's probably pretty boring.
If he picks at his food like he's a bird, he's probably not very passionate.
And if he eats in his underwear over the sink while watching TV,
he's probably your husband.
♫
~~ Benny is talking to his best friend Sam.
"Don't tell anyone, Sam, but my wife once again had a headache last
night."
"Really" says Sam
"Yes" replies Benny, "it's been like this for some weeks now and I've
been thinking that they must have named a Jewish holiday after my sex
life."
"Which one" Sam asks.
"Passover..
♫
~~ Things I've learned:
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles
these three things: a rainy holiday, lost luggage, and tangled
Christmas tree lights." Age 52
"I've learned that kids need hugs more than they need things." Age 43
"I've learned that the smart husband knows that the wooing never stops."
Age 59
"I've learned that having football games in the house isn't a good idea."
Age 9
♫
♫
Todays thought: Practice doesn't make perfect - perfect practice makes perfect.
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