Having a nice cold windy day.......
No more snow for awhile...........
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Good way..to lose customers.......
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Waiting for breakfast.....wanna join him??
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You better not....
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Aww, sorry bout that........
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Yep....that's them alright...
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Japanese school lunch....
I don't know about you, but Damn......
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No, Thanks.......
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♥♥♥
~~ Business Mergers .....
* Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs.
* Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers:
New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild .
* Polygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler:
new company will be called Poly Warner Cracker.
* W.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale.
Business Systems:
New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
* 3M and Goodyear:
New company will be called mmmGood.
*John Deere and Abitibi-Price:
new company will be called Deere Abi .
* Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil:
New company will be called Honey I'm Home
* Denison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining:
New company will be called Mine, All Mine .
* 3M, J.C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company:
New company will be called 3 Penney Opera.
* Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants:
New company will be called Poupon Pants ..
* Knott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women:
New company will be called Knott NOW!
* Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining:
New compant will be called Zip Audi Do-Da...
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~~ I got a car for my girlfriend, It was a Yugo..
I paid $35.00 for it......It was a sport model,
It had a pair of old tennis shoes in the back.
It had the optional rear window defroster
so your hands don't get cold while you're pushing it
☺
~~ A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter
''R,'' and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it.
To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home:
''Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.''
In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the
sentence out loud.
The boy nervously eyed his classmates--
many of them already laughing at him-
-then replied, ''Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny
wasn't cooked enough.''
☺
~~ Volvo has unveiled an auto designed by women for women
called the YCC, 'Your Concept Car.'
Among its cutting-edge femifeatures:
-- Turn signals that are able to change their mind at the last minute.
-- An OnStar satellite tracking system that can locate, on command,
all retail outlets within 500 miles
-- Permanent press fenders.
-- A dashboard voice console that's programmed to ask strangers for
directions.
-- Side mirrors that make the driver appear slimmer than she actually is.
☺
~~ Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk,
the Tom Cruise look- alike apologized,
"Pardon me!"
"That's quite all right," the woman replied.
"You look just like my fourth husband."
"Wow!" he said.
"How many times have you been married?"
She winked at him and said, "Three."
☺
~~ Phoning the hospital for a follow-up X-ray appointment,
I was inadvertently connected to the High Risk Pregnancy Unit instead
of Radiology.
They asked me my name and age.
When I told them my age was 82, there was a moment of silence.
And then the voice said, "Wow! That will really put us on the map!"
☺
~~ Before going to work, my wife instructed me to give our kids Kraft
Dinner for supper.
When suppertime came,
I didn't feel like cooking and took the kids out to a local fast-food restaurant.
While we were eating I told them to tell their mother that they had had
Kraft Dinner for supper, should she ask, or else Daddy would get into
trouble.
Later, at bedtime, my wife called to say goodnight to the kids and she
asked our five-year-old daughter, Danielle, what they had eaten for supper,
"Kraft Dinner," she replied, adding, "from the Dairy Queen."
☺
~~ The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car
had struck a telephone pole.
Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in
work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness.
“Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?” inquired the officer.
“Mister,” exclaimed the telephone lineman, “I was at the top of the pole!”
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~~ A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and
a squirrel in the other.
"Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever yo do to that poor,
defenceless creature i shall personally do to you"
"In that case," said the boy, "I'll kiss it's butt and let it go"
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~~ A doctor came to the mental hospital to visit his patients.
In one of the rooms, he saw a man walking around, dragging a toothbrush
on a leash.
The doctor asked the man: "What are you doing, walking the dog?"
The man replied: "Oh no, I'm just dragging my toothbrush on a leash."
The doctor left the room amazed, thinking how many normal people
end up in mental institutions...
And the man said to his toothbrush: "Ha, Fifi, we tricked him!"
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Todays Thought: Beautiful young people are acts of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.
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