for a wee bit?....
☺
Well, there goes my breakfast..What went wrong??
☺
The dogs getting a workout....
☺
Now, who's gettin the workout??
☺
Yep......
☺
Hands free phone?? no thanks!
☺
Cool.....
☺
Close the fridg....
☺
Sounds like screeching to me.....
☺
He thinks it's screeching......
☺
What a gift??
☺
Well, time to catch the bus......
Later...
☺
♥♥♥
☺
~~ My mother's German background causes her to confuse the
letters V and W when writing.
Once, after swimming at her favorite spot with friends,
she posted this lost and found notice on the bulleting board:
Found! Lost child's floating west!
☺
~~ Abraham Lincoln was a master of forming alliances between
peoples of divergent opinions.
He incorporated people who disagreed with him into his personal
staff.
This didn't always promote harmony in the White House.
One day one of his advisors came to him and said,
"Mr. President, you really have to destroy your enemies."
Mr. Lincoln smiled and said, "Isn't that what I do when I make
them my friends?"
☺
~~ Now that they've retired, my mother and father are discussing
all aspects of their future.
"What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom.
After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a
house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women
who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active
for her age.
Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if I die first?" He replied,
"Probably the same thing."
☺
~~ Every year on their anniversary my friend, Gus, and his
lady friend celebrated by staying at the same hotel.
On their third anniversary they booked their usual room.
But when the hotel's bell captain escorted them upstairs,
they were in for a big surprise.
"There must be some mistake," Gus said.
"This looks like the bridal suite."
"It's okay," the bell captain reassured him.
"If I put you in the ballroom, that doesn't mean you have to dance."
☺
~~ When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida ,
I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped
from Hawaii .
I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked
me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?"
I looked at him and quickly said "Yep.
I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge".
He nodded his head and said, "Cool"!
☺
~~ The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!"
☺
~~ My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out
window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill..
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, "You gave me too much money."
I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar
bill back."
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to
repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said
"We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing."
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in
change..
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
☺
~~ In her kitchen, Betty said to her three-year-old son Geoff,"
These bananas are all brown, But instead of letting them go to
waste, let's make some banana bread together."
Geoff eagerly helped her.
After they baked the banana bread, they took a loaf to their
neighbor.
As Betty handed over the loaf, Geoff told the neighbor,
"Our bananas were rotten so we made bread for you."
☺
~~ My father-in-law and I went grocery shopping at the local
supermarket.
As we proceeded down the aisle, a woman with whom he was
acquainted inquired about some work she needed to the rear
bumper of her car.
My father-in-law, a mechanic and known in those parts as
Mr. Fix-it, said he'd drop by and have a look at it.
As we were leaving he spied the woman across the crowded
parking lot.
"Hold on a second, dear," he yelled to her as she was getting
into her car.
"I want to look at your rear end."
☺
~~ I hate it when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Damn it!), but when I immediately call back,
it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.
What'd you do after I didn't answer?
Drop the phone and run away?
☺
☺
Todays Thought: The best way to save face, is to keep the lower part of it shut.
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