The rivers are flooding from the rain from yesterday....
Snow possible Friday.....
~~ Hey, Have a great AUSTRALIA DAY....Mates...
Sunrise at Hummingbird Lane, this morning.....
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G'day, mate! go easy on the barbe and the tinnies...Onya!
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Back off...Mate, it's mine......
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It's gonna swallow you......
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Now thats a fat frog..frog legs anyone?
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Think it's cold where you are?
Welcome to Siberia.
"One of cozy streets.
The temperature outdoors is -42C (-44F)."
(Didn't sound right to me either, but it is.)
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Hey, BUBBA....you dropped something....
Sometimes it’s hard to keep things together.
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I don't know about this bike.... I don't think I wanna ride it....
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This cat with the hat, reminds me of "Red"...(Clem..)
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Cool picture.....
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♥♥♥
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~~ Why is it that at breakfast, people eat bacon with their
fingers.. but if they order ham or sausage, they'll use their fork...?
Second question:
How much bacon is too much?
Answer; what's a fork???
As to how much is too much bacon..........
If you have to open a 2nd package you're getting close.
If you start squealing like a pig you know you're there.
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~~ A few days ago, Prime Minister Mori from India was given
some Basic English conversation training before he visits
Washington and meets president Barack Obama...
The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand
with President Obama, please say "how r u".
Then Mr. Obama should say,"I am fine, and you?"
Now, you should say"me too".
Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you."
It looks quite simple, but the truth is...
When Mori met Obama , he mistakenly said "who r u?"
(Instead of "How r u?"..)
Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with
humor: "Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha...
"Then Mori replied "me too, ha-ha.. ."
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room....
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~~ I parked my pickup at the supermarket and was walking
past an empty cart when I heard a woman ask,
"Excuse me, did you want that cart?"
"No," I answered....... "I'm only after one thing."
As I walked toward the store, I heard her murmur,
"Typical male."
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~~ A man went for an audition at a local club.
"You' better not be a hypnotist, they're not welcome here."
"No I'm not, I'm a singer, why, what's wrong with a hypnotist?"
"Well we had one a couple days ago with 10 people on stage
in a trance when he tripped over the microphone wire and
shouted 'Shit'....... We've been clearing up ever since."
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~~ Our two boys received as a gift a Kreepy Krauly oven,
a small oven used to bake plastic bugs.
The boys prepared the first tray of bugs and slid it into the oven
to bake.
The younger one, Roy asked his older brother Arty,
if he could look through the clear plastic window at the top of
the oven to watch the baking in progress.
"No," Arty replied, "you don't have the right kind of eyes.
It says right here that you need adult supervision."
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~~ Some enlisted men were having trouble getting past the
guard at the train station.
He said that he couldn't allow anyone through without a ticket.
Anyone!
An officer came along.
The guard explained, "Look, I like GIs.
I mean they're protecting us, but I have orders.
They're trying to get on without a ticket."
The officer said, "Let me take care of this."
Turning to the men, he barked, "Attention! Now forward march!"
Smartly past a stunned guard, the men marched through the
gate and onto the train.
Once aboard, they relaxed and patted the officer on the back,
saying, "You're terrific, sir.
You're a great guy."
The officer said, "That's all right.
I didn't have a ticket either!"
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~~ A famous French singing star, in the United States to make
a movie, was accosted by several dowager types.
He answered their questions nicely, ending each response with
a smile and a "Mademoiselle" or "Madame."
One dowager finally asked.
"What is the difference between Madame and Mademoiselle!"
The French singing star said, "Monsieur!"
When the ladies went to work trying to figure out his response,
he got away.
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~~ I was visiting my sister, Anne in New York, and I couldn't help
but notice a huge wall in her living room that was filled with
professionally taken pictures of her and her family.
My cousin, Peter, walked in and with his back to the wall full
of pictures, spotted a picture on the mantel piece taken of my
sister in the woods.
"I love pictures taken naturally like that."
Peter said. "I just hate it when people have professional pictures
taken."
"Turn around," Anne said.
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~~ A passenger train is creeping along, slowly.
Finally it creaks to a halt.
A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened?
Did we catch up with the cow again?"
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~~ I was watching the aerobic championships on TV with my
daughter- in-law.
A smiling blonde young thing was performing. Sleek, solid, with
not an extra ounce on her toned body, she was bouncing and
darting about, her rapid arm and leg movements in sync with
the music.
Glancing down at my added poundage and expanded middle,
I lamented to Kimberly, "Would you believe that at one time I
looked like that?"
You were blonde?" she asked.
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Today Thought: Expecting the world to treat us fairly because we are ethical is
a little like expecting a bull to not attack us because we are vegetarians...
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