Weird weather here.....
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Wedding cake?? I don't know...
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I'm glad I didn't have to lay this floor down....WoW!
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A cat on a cat....pretty cool....
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They wanna go out a play.....
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Ohhh...your a bad cat....we'll call you stinky....
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Oh...no,.. Bobbie take care of my light work....
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Kiss the fat frog, maybe he'll love you....
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This guy is laffen at you all....
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Need some one to scrach your back??
Not me!!
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Another laffing cat, whats with these cats??
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Well time to deliver this oven....see you later...
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~~ Bobbie will love this one......
A nice old gent in Miami Beach met a woman only a year or
two younger than he.
They became fast friends.
Every night they'd go up to her apartment, have tea and cookies,
and engage in pleasant chatter.
One day the old gent ran into a friend who asked,
"Why don't you marry the lady?"
The old gent said, "Then where would I spend my evenings?"
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~~ As everyone sat around the table for a big family dinner,
the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an
army recruitment office.
There were audible gasps from the gathering,
followed by laughter as his older brothers expressed their
disbelief that he could handle army life.
"Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one.
"You haven't really signed up, have you?"
"You'd never get through basic training," scoffed another.
Finally his father spoke up.
"It's going to take a lot of discipline.... Are you ready for that?"
Coming under fire from all sides, the new recruit looked to his
mother for help.
But she said simply: Are you really going to make your own bed
every morning?"
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~~ Middle age is that time of life when you finally know your way
around but don't feel like going.
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~~ All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial
on the back of the $5.00 bill.
(You need a magnifying glass to see.)
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~~ The long wait at airport security was tough on the
five-year-old boy.
To keep him from making a disturbance, his mother decided
to distract him with a civics lesson.
"Johnny, do you know what's special about America?"
"No," he pouted.
"In America, everyone is free to do things, go places,
own whatever they want ... anything except hurt other people."
Johnny looked ahead at the people being searched by
the airport security guards, and nodded.
"I think I want to go to America."
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~~ a young & very pushy redneck goes to the dmv after moving
across state lines to get a license & the clerk asks his name,
he replies jb smith the clerk then asks what the j& b stood for.
The young man replies rudely J only B only Smith.
The license reads; jonly bonly smith
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~~ Over lunch one day Mrs. Scherer told Mrs. Swearingen,
"I just don't know what to do.
My husband beats me up each day."
Mrs. Swearingen tried not to show how alarmed she was.
"Rosemary," she said, "that's terrible!"
Mrs. Scherer nodded.
"I guess the best thing to do is start setting the alarm."
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~~ Psychiatry is the art of teaching people to stand on their own
feet while they are reclining on couches.
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~~ One day when I came out of the grocery store,
I got behind the wheel of my husband's old car, turned the key
and heard nothing but silence.
Apparently the car had died a quiet death while I was shopping.
I called my husband and he arrived soon after.
He came, sat in the car, turned the key
(as if to prove to himself that I was right, of course) and got
the same "nothing" I did.
That's when he popped the hood, went around to the trunk and
pulled a club out of my golf bag.
He proceeded to tap one of the battery cables with it and told me
to try and start the engine.
Sure enough it purred like a kitten.
"If it does it again," he said, "use the 5-iron."
All went well for a while until the car stalled in the middle of a
busy intersection.
Undaunted, I raced to the trunk, took out the 5-iron,
tapped the battery cable, got in and turned the key.
It started up immediately.
Before I could pull away, however, one male observer
rolled down his window, grinned and shouted.
"Hey lady. I have to know, what club did you use?"
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~~ I finally figured out the difference between cupcakes, muffins
and scones.
They're exactly the same except you have to suck the moisture
out of the cupcakes to turn them into muffins.
Then you leave them sitting on the counter for about a month to
turn them into scones.
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Todays Thought: The wise speak when they have something to say,
the fools speak when they have to say something.
(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)o(ºOº)
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