Weatherman sez clear today..why did I get wet taking
this picture??
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Supposed to be in the 50+...was 60º yesterday...
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Me and my special lady's going for the Waffles....
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There goes my breakfast!!
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So thats were he's been...
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What can I say......
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Yea,....They bad, alright.....
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So thats what it looks like.......
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Shhhh, that was bird droppings....on his head..
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Start them young.....
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Yea he's lazy.....
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Well, time to leave...I can't seem to get anywere....
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♥♥♥
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~~ To help our four-year-old daughter overcome her fear of the
dark, her father and I always reassured her at bedtime that
God was watching over her.
One night after I had gone to bed, I felt a soft tap on my shoulder.
"Mommy," a familiar small voice said, "I know God's in there with me,
but I need somebody with skin."
☺
~~ My ten-year-old son, Andrew and I were waiting in a dentist's
office, talking about treatments for his painful tooth.
Entering the room, the dentist asked, "Well, Andrew, which one's
the troublemaker?"
Without hesitation, Andrew replied, "My brother."
☺
~~ Carl, my husband, and I, were building a sunroom to
accommodate our new hot tub.
The project soon turned into a money pit.
During one of our numerous trips to the hardware store,
Carl inquired about exhaust fans.
The store clerk looked them up on the computer and praised one
fan in particular because it was exceptionally quiet.
Carl asked him for the price.
After receiving the answer, he sighed and asked,
"Do you have anything louder?"
☺
~~ Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married?
Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry,
but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother
doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect
solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says,
"Did you find the perfect girl?
Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl.
She was just like my mother.
You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
☺
~~ How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons,
but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.
☺
~~ My little sister, Janet, was born when I was in my first year
of university.
My five other siblings and I would almost always pick her up as
soon as there was the smallest whimper.
And Mom would sometimes sleep in the bed in the nursery to
attend to baby Janet's needs.
One late night, I heard Janet crying and went in to pick her up.
In the dark I could see that Mom wasn't alone,
so I asked who was there.
I was most embarrassed when my Dad answered,
"Who do you think?"
☺
~~ As a student I spent a few summers picking tomatoes on
a friend's farm in New Jersey.
Every day, before we started, the farmer announced sternly,
"Don't step on the vines!"
If we did, the plants' growth would be stunted.
One day, the temperature was a sizzling 98 degrees,
I was lagging behind the seasoned farm workers.
Suddenly I felt faint and crashed to the ground.
Minutes later I came to, looking into a circle of worried faces
above me.
As I scrambled to my feet, I had only one concern:
"I'm sorry I landed on the vines!"
☺
~~ When the sky finally cleared up after a long week of rain,
our young granddaughter happily proclaimed,
"Oh look! The sun came home!"
☺
~~ Mother: “Johnny, I wish you’d run across the street and see
how old Mrs. Brown is this morning.”
Johnny comes running back from across the street and
announces: “She says it’s none of your business how old she is.”
☺
~~ A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails.
When the police show up, they ask him what happened.
The shaken turtle replies, "I don’t know......
It all happened so fast."
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Todays Thought: Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
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