Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning...friends.....

Heat wave today....in the 50's

and warmer tomorrow..........

☺

He can tell you ...it's cold last night.....

☺

Yes, the door could be open.....

☺

I can't figure what that "fap' is??

☺

He hates that water...."Sadie" does too.....

☺

Good thing he or she's not hungry....they love fish..

☺

Nice carving.........neat.

☺

Gotta have the hard hat on.....don't wanna get hit in the head..

☺

No...No....don't jump....someone is dumb...

☺

Come in.....don't hold the door open...you'll let the flys in...

☺

Well, time for me to leave......see ya, later....

☺

♥♥♥

☺

~~ Johnny: “Isn’t it funny that everyone in our family is some kind of animal?”

Father: “What do you mean?”
Johnny: “Mother’s a dear, baby is a lamb, I’m a kid and I heard
Mother say you were a goat.”

☺
~~ A patient at my daughter’s medical clinic filled out a form.
After Name and Address, the next question was
"Nearest Relative."
She wrote "Walking distance."

☺
~~ Chuck, who is noted for his gracious manners,
was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing
telephone...
"Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake,"
said an angry voice.
Chuck thanked the caller and politely asked his name and
number before hanging up.
The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m.,
Chuck called his neighbor back ... "Good morning,
Mr. Martin.... Just called to say that I don't *have* a dog."

☺
~~ "Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?" asked one
drunk to his friend at the next barstool.
"Well, I'd have to say that it's what tells you when you've drunk
way too much," answered the equally wasted gent.
"Well, whaddya know?
I've been married to one of those for years!”

☺
~~ Johnny, a city boy, went to a farm and saw the milking of a
cow for the first time.
“Now you know where milk comes from.”
“Sure do........
You give the cow some breakfast food and some water and
drain the crankcase.”

☺
~~ I told my daughter for my living will i did not want to be hooked
up to machines, or fed fluids.
she got up unplugged my computer and dumped my beer down
the sink!!!

☺
~~ A real estate salesman in Texas had just finished describing
the glorious opportunities of that land to the prospect from the
East.
“All West Texas needs to become the garden spot of the world
is good people and water!”
“Huh!”, replied the prospect..... “That’s all Hell needs, too!”

☺
~~ A little boy was brought into our emergency room after
ingesting part of a plug-in air freshener.
After consulting Poison Control and monitoring him,
the doctor wrote on his discharge, "Patient doing well.
Ready to go home....... Smells good."

☺
~~ John's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental
appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were
supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.
John enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part.
"I play a man who's been married for twenty years."
"That's great, son.
Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be
giving you a speaking part."

☺
~~ I walked into the lobby of my apartment building recently
and was greeted by this notice:
"To whoever is watering these plants, please stop.
They are the property of the building, and our maintenance
staff will take care of them.
They may have already been watered, in which case you will
be overwatering them......... Besides, these plants are fake."
☺
☺
Todays thought:  "Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time and annoys the pig." ~Albert Einstein~