Brrr...In the 30's, and colder every day this week.....
.
Cold.....Cold...
.
Sadie's not cold...she knows were its warm.....
.
No, No, Fluffy........
.
Nap time.......Fluff....
.
What can you say........change the paper...
.
I don't think so....Bubba.....
.
I smell somthin........
.
Did you hear that? what that was.....?
.
Need some antivirus??...
.
If I can get on the bus, I'll be on my way.....
.
♥♥♥
~~ Honestly, I thought long and hard about my New Years' resolution.
RESOLVED: I think too much..
~~ I had reluctantly agreed to come shopping with Bobbie.
But when I found myself stuck in a lingerie shop while she tried
on one garment after another, I regretted his decision.
Impatient and bored I asked a salesclerk,
"Is there anything in the store for men?"
"Sir," she said, "everything in this store is for men."
.
~~ I am a school bus driver and like to chat with the children
as we wait for everyone to board.
On the last day of school before the holidays,
I asked one seven-year-old boy if he had any plans for the break.
"No," he replied.
"I'm going to stay home and become a potato couch."
.
~~ There was an old man who found out the difference between
old age and youth.
When you're young, you feel your oats; when you're old,
all you feel are your corns.
.
~~ My sister Candice's husband drove right into a radar trap.
And because Candice was following him in her car,
the police officer nabbed her too.
After the officer had written up one ticket, he approached Candice.
Her defense was that she was merely following her husband.
When that appeal failed, she tried another tack:
"Do you give family discounts?"
.
~~ As a flight attendant in the 1970s, one of my duties was to
remove hard objects from the overhead bins.
One day I helped an elderly woman retrieve her carry-on case
from the rack and stow it under the seat.
"Careful, dearie," she said, smiling sweetly.
"My husband's in there...I'm taking him home to New Jersey
with me."
.
~~ A listener called the disc jockey on the air at our radio station
to ask about the upcoming lunar eclipse.
"The eclipse can be seen at 1:30 in the morning," the DJ told her.
"That late?" the listener snapped.
"I don't know why they don't schedule these things earlier,
so kids can enjoy them too!"
.
~~ TOP 10 USES FOR HOLIDAY FRUITCAKES
10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.
9. Use instead of sand bags during El Nino.
8. Send to U.S. Air Force, let troops drop them.
7. Use as railroad ties.
6. Use as speed bumps to foil the neighborhood drag racers.
5. Collect ten and use them as bowling pins.
4. Use instead of cement shoes.
3. Save for next summer's garage sale.
2. Use slices in next skeet-shooting competition.
1. Two words--pin cushion.
.
~~ Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station
mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee.
When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew
was as black as asphalt and just about as thick.
"How old is the coffee you have here?"
I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter.
She shrugged.
"I don't know.
I've only been working here two weeks."
.
~~ Whenever a stranger asked Little Johnny his name,
he would reply:
“ I am Jim Brown’s son.”
His mother overheard him one day, and started to correct him.
“ You should not say that.
Give your real name.”
A few days later someone asked him,
“ Aren’t you Jim Brown’s son?” “
I thought I was, but Mother says I’m not.”
.
.
Todays Thought; Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on
old habits.
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