Spammers are so dumb...
.
He's laffing too!
.
I don't know....Chuck would have knocked him out!
.
Friends are good to have...and I have some good ones.....
.
When you finish with the driveway...steps are next!
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Oh, Now this is a good one......
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Cuff Links?...
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Oh, No..not here....no paper!!
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Light then up.......
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What can I say??
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Well, I gotta go and see if I can get a good seat....
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♥♥♥
~~ IMAGINE THAT...
1. The first VCR, made in 1956, was the size of a piano.
2. One gallon of used motor oil can ruin approximately one
million gallons of fresh water!
.
~~ If you don't read the newspaper, or watch TV,
you are uninformed;
if you do read the newspaper,or watch TV you are misinformed.
.
~~ The stunning blonde displayed her curves and sold a soft
drink in a TV commercial.
A wife looked at her stunning figure and said,
"What do people see in her?"
The husband said, "I have no idea.
Let me take a closer look!"
.
~~ "Dost thou love life?
Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of."
~Benjamin Franklin
.
~~ A few years back, I had my old 45 RPM records out to look
through and my daughter asked what they were.
I explained that back in the 1960s, before CDs were invented,
this was how we listened to music.
I further explained how all the bands issued singles on these "45s,"
and radio stations would rate the top 40 songs every week.
She was quite impressed as I continued describing how one
used a phonograph to play them.
I burst out laughing when she asked -- perfectly straight faced --
"Daddy, how many megs of RAM does one of these hold?"
.
~~ My son must be Indian.
Whenever I ask him to do something he says, "How?"
.
~~ Andrew a third- grader, was to give a demonstration speech
at school.
He planned to demonstrate how to make "Flies on a Log,"
which consists of peanut butter spread on a stalk of celery with
raisins on it.
The morning of his speech, Andrew took out everything he
needed and put it on the kitchen counter, ready to take it to
school.
Unfortunately, when he and his mom left for school,
they forgot to take the items.
Andrew's mom dropped him off and went home to get the stuff.
The celery was gone.
The raisins were gone.
The peanut butter had been put away.
"Oh," said Andrew's father.
"I had that stuff for breakfast."
Kristal rushed to gather up more ingredients and hurry them to
school, with an apology to the teacher and an explanation of
what happened.
"Gee," said Andrew's teacher, "that's a first --
"My dad ate my homework."
.
~~ ECNALUBMA - a rescue vehicle which can only be seen in
the rear- view mirror.
.
~~ Two new prisoners are put into a cell.
One prisoner asks, "How long are you in for?"
The second prisoner says, "A hundred and twenty years."
The first prisoner says, "I'm serving a hundred and fifty.
You take the bed nearer the door because you're getting out first!"
.
~~ FARMER'S SON: Dad, do you like baked apples?
FARMER: Yes, why?
FARMER'S SON: The orchard is on fire.
.
~~ I was asked by a friend to see my tattoo of a rose,
then I was constantly bothered by bees.
.
.
Todays Thought: Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base.
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