are you having a good weekend?
We gotta get leaves up again......
.
Yeh....He'll fix you right up.........
.
Swing low sweet chariot....coming to carry me home.....
.
Boy! That must have been some powerful watermelon...
.
MY LOW BUDGET BATHROOM REMODEL..........
But the bears are a problem.........
.
Have no fear....kitty will fix it for you.......
.
Lost his job at the zoo, now gotta check the want Ads........
.
Kinda a bad place to get stuck.....Bubba..
.
Will I get in trouble for this one??
.
Just in case, I'm gonna take off......see you later......
Maybe I'll swing by and pick up "Witchy"....
.
♥♥♥
~~ To save money, my dad opted to order a bra to cover
some front- end damage on our car..
It arrived while my siblings and friends were in the basement
watching a movie.
Not knowing that my friends were around, Dad bellowed down
to my brother from the top of the stairs.
"Hey Justin, the new bra just arrived!
Want to come up and help me put it on?"
.
~~ During a museum tour the guide explains,
"Here you can see the beautiful statue of Athena..."
"Excuse me, madam," a visitor interjects.
"Who is that man behind her? Is he her husband?"
"No, Athena wasn't married: She was the goddess of wisdom."
.
~~ When Jared began spending lots of time in the
Internet chat rooms, I worried that his grades would suffer.
I made him promise to do schoolwork until I returned home
at 5p.m.
One day at 4:30 I decided to check up on him.
Using my office computer, I went on-line and entered his
favorite chat room.
To my dismay I saw Jared's name among the list of current
participants and immediately decided to teach him a lesson
in front of his cyber friends.
"Jared," I typed, "this is your mother, and you are grounded
for two weeks!"
"Hi, Mrs. Beyeler," came a reply.
"This is David........
Jared's doing homework right now, and he said I could use
his computer.
But I'll be sure to let him know that he's been grounded."
.
~~ I was teaching my second-graders about digraphs
ch,sh,th,wh.
The students were eagerly giving examples of words that had
these digraphs in them.
The "wh" took them a while, so I started their thinking with
words like "whale" and "what," until a boy raised his hand
and proudly stated, "whassup!"
.
~~ "Excuse me," Bobbie said to the sales person,
"but I'd like to try on the dress in the window."
"I'm sorry," smiled the clerk, "but you'll have to use the
dressing room like everyone else."
.
~~ While we were waiting to be served in a restaurant,
we overheard this exchange at a nearby table:
A frazzled mother was ordering a beverage for her youngest
child when the waiter asked, "What size?"
She answered, "Whichever size you'd like to clean up."
.
~~ Q: Why aren't elephants allowed on beaches?
A: They can't keep their trunks up!
.
~~ "The reason a lot of people do not recognize opportunity
is because it usually goes around wearing overalls looking like
hard work." ~Thomas Edison~
.
~~ The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal
with watches you in the mirror every morning.
.
~~ One day, a very attractive under graduate visited the
professor's office.
The under graduate pulled the chair closer to the professor,
smiled at him shyly, bumped his knee "accidentally", etc.
Finally, the undergraduate said, "Professor, I really need to
pass your course.
It is extremely important to me.
It is so important that I'll do anything you suggest."
The professor, somewhat taken aback by this attention, replied,
"Anything?"
To which the undergraduate cooed, "Yes, anything you say."
After some brief reflection, the professor asked,
"What are you doing tomorrow afternoon at 3:30?"
The student lied, "Oh, nothing at all, sir. I can be free then."
The professor then advised, "Excellent! Professor Palmer is
holding a help session for his students.
Why don't you attend that."
.
~~ Anyone traveling on business for our company must fill out
an expense report.
A field on the form asks for "name on credit card."
One Einstein entered "MasterCard."
.
~~ Successful telemarketers don't have to be brain surgeons,
just good on the phone.
Case in point: While serving in the quality assurance department
of one marketing firm, I overheard the guy in the next cube ask
for the customer's e-mail address.
"That's great," he said.
"Now, if you can tell me how you spell 'aol'?"
.
.
Todays Thought; There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey.
He who blames himself is halfway there.
He who blames no one has arrived.
.
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