Looks to be a nice weekend.....
.
Just about all the leaves have fallen....with the wind we had.....
.
Feeding the cats at 6:00 this morning.......
.
RUN, little buddy......
.
She's got her breakfast this morning......
.
WOW! She's giving it all she's got..........
.
Carol, sent me this picture.... It said:
A Canadian ICE BREAKER......
He's a better man then me...
.
Their saying....OMG...look at that crazy man........
.
ENO's the MAN......
.
Well....I guess I better go now.....
.
♥♥♥
~~ Lisa and Jane are having coffee when Lisa notices that
Jane seems troubled and asks her, "Is something bugging you?
You look anxious."
"Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the
stock market," Jane explained.
"Oh, that's too bad," Lisa sympathized.
"I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him."
"Yeah, I am," Jane said...... "He'll miss me."
.
~~ If a supermarket clerk asks you if you know the price of an
item and you don't, tell him it's "2-something" or "3-something."
The clerks love that because they don't get to use their
SOMETHING keys very often.
.
~~ The first time my son was on a bike with training wheels,
I shouted, "Step back on the pedals and the bike will brake!"
He nodded but still rode straight into a bush.
"Why didn't you push back on the pedals?" I asked, helping him up.
"You said if I did, the bike would break."
.
~~ Class pets are often the focus of curiosity.
After acquiring a box turtle for her classroom, a teacher was
asked by a student, "Does he have a nightlight in his shell so
he can see in there?"
.
~~ During his spare time my brother, an attorney,
volunteers on his town's fire and rescue squad.
When I mentioned this to a friend, he smiled and said,
"Let me get this straight.
Your brother is a lawyer and an EMT? So he doesn't have to
chase the ambulance... he's already in it?"
.
~~ On a billboard ad for a safe company:
"If your stuff is stolen, it's not our vault."
.
~~ I never knew just how small my college town was until I took
a job at the pizza parlour.
My boss handed me some pies to deliver and gave me these
directions: "After you take the left, it'll be the third house on the
right."
Then he added, "And don't count any chicken coops, just houses."
.
~~ The rush of air produced by a cough moves at a speed
approaching 600 miles per hour.
.
~~ Hungarian playwright Ferenc Molnar and a friend were once
given complimentary tickets to a rather mediocre play.
After the opening scene, Molnar rose and prepared to leave.
"You can't walk out," his friend exclaimed.
"We're guests of the management."
Molnar reluctantly agreed, sitting through several lines of
stultifying dialogue before rising again.
"Now where are you going?" the friend asked with annoyance.
"To the ticket office," Molnar replied, "to buy two tickets so we
can leave!"
.
~~ If you were freeze dried, like coffee, 90% of your weight
would be the real you, and 10% would be the little critters that
call your body their home.
.
~~ My sister worked at the ticket booth for a wildlife
drive-through park.
One day a woman drove up to the booth in a convertible.
"I'm sorry, ma'am," my sister said, "but the bears will destroy
the top of your car if you drive it through the park.
Would you like to use one of the junk cars we keep here for
these situations?"
"A junk car?" the woman said reluctantly.
"How about if I just put the top down?"
.
~~ Because my daughter always complained that she didn't
have any sharp knives, I bought her some.
I phoned later and asked how she liked them.
"They're terrific!" she replied enthusiastically.
"I've already cut myself five times!"
.
.
Todays thought: If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?
No comments:
Post a Comment