Good Morning.....Readers of this mess.....
TGIF day....and the 13th....I'm going back to bed....ha-ha
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I would think a good pinch would be more like it...
I bet they can give you a wild ride also......
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Shhhhh! baby sleeping........
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I bet he is.....
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Now that is a cool hot tub.......
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Their looking for that Hot tub ▲ ▲↑....
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Now thats a funny air plane..... What do you think....Benny?
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Nice AD.........
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This is a great cartoon ........
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Now this is real coffee.......My kind.....
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O.K. Pack them up, and head them out........
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♥♥♥
~~ A student taking a philosophy class had a single question on
his final: "What is courage?"
The student wrote: "This", signed it, and turned it in.
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~~ The baptism was going along at full steam.
Came the time to immerse Gus.
The minister exhorted forgiveness for poor Gus and dipped him.
Another member of the flock said, "That dip won't do any good.
With his drinking and carousing, you'd have to let Gus soak
all night!"
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~~ A man finally achieved the goal of a lifetime, he became the
boss of his own company.
Asked if it was all he'd expected it to be, he said,
"Let me put it this way.
The building code tells me what kind of plant to put up.
The union tells me what the salaries and the hours should be.
The government makes me deduct from paychecks.
My salesmen and saleswomen tell me what they can sell and
what I should make.
And on top of that, last month I got married!"
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~~ "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English
teacher.
"I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and
out the other."
"Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher.
"But you only have two ears, boy."
"Guess I'm no good at math, either!"
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~~ A customer calls Tech Support with an improbable story:
She says she dropped her mouse and her PC shut down.
The tech makes the trip to her desk.
No question, her computer is off.
And when he punches the PC's power switch to restart it,
nothing happens.
He asked her where she dropped her mouse.
She replied, "Behind the desk."
Sure enough, she had managed to hit the on/off switch on
the power strip.
The tech told her, "Good shot."
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~~People who think they're out of this world always make you
wish they were.
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~~ "I've decided on a name for the baby," said the young mother.
"I shall call her Euphrosyne."
Her husband did not care for the selection, but being a tactful
fellow, he was far too wise to declare his objection.
"Splendid," he said cheerfully.
"The first girl I ever loved was called Euphrosyne, and the name
will revive pleasant memories."
There was a brief period of silence, then:
We'll call her Elizabeth, after my mother," said the young
wife firmly.
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~~ Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance
commercials that says "Not available in all states"?
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~~ Two fighters went through the motions, hardly touching one
another.
They danced around and around.
Finally the referee got them in a clinch and said, "I don't mind
your dancing around like that, but dipping is out!"
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~~ My five-year-old son Roy, and I were discussing some of the
differences between his childhood and mine.
I pointed out that when I was young, we didn't have things such
as Nintendo, cellphones, computers or digital cameras.
I realized just how huge the generation gap was when he
asked me "Did you have fruit?"
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~~"My dad was the town drunk.
Most of the time that's not so bad; but in New York City?"
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~~ An eight-year-old boy was receiving inpatient therapy
for his violent temper tantrums.
He was throwing chairs at home when he got angry.
During a group therapy session the facilitator asked,
"Michael, why are you here?"
"I got mad and threw a chair," said Michael.
The facilitator asked, "What could you have done differently
when you got mad?"
Michael replied, "Thrown a table instead?"
.
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Todays Thought: People who sing their own praises usually sing solos.
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