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You have been Warned !.......
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Now I think somethings wrong with this picture.....You??
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Twinkle, Twinkle...little star..........
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Give up yet!!...
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Ear Mites??...Doc.....
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A heavyweight lifter.......
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Give me...gimme, gimme.................
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Were's mine....I'm hungry too....
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Red neck mail box.......
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Time to load up, and head out.......later.......
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♥♥♥
~~ A fellow turned to a woman sitting beside him in a bar and
said; "Drinking makes you look beautiful, darling."
She looked a little surprised and answered,
"but I haven't had a drink yet."
He smiled and said, "no, but I have!"
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~~ I’ve joined Alcoholics Anonymous
........I still drink but I use another name..
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~~ Q: What did the woman say to the magician who had just
sawed her in half?
A: "Can you join me for dinner?"
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~~ Some people might object to filling out the part of Laco
company's job application form that asks "Race."
Not Gus.... He responded, "Only on the interstate."
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~~ A professor was grading the essay finals he had just given
his class and opened the exam book of a failing student to reveal
blank pages and a $100 bill.
The only thing written in the book was "$100 = 100% - I get an A."
A month later, the student approached the professor.
"I don't understand," he said.
"I failed the course.
Didn't you read my final?"
The professor handed the student the exam book.
The student opened it to reveal $50 and the phrase "$50 = 50% -
You fail!"
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~~ With Bible in hand,the teacher read to the high school religion
class, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother,
and cleave to his wife."
"Okay," the teacher said, "from this Scripture, what do we learn
is important in marriage?"
A student blurted out, "Cleavage."
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~~ A woman walked into a thrift shop and deposited a lamp on
the counter.
"I'd like to donate this," she said.
"I know you don't take electrical equipment,
so I've cut the plug off.
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~~ Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm's client denied
the allegations.
So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four
men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously.
"He's lying!" he yelled..... "There were only three of us."
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~~ My husband and his friend Ken were talking about their
labor- saving devices as they pulled into our driveway.
Ken said, "I love my new garage-door opener."
"I love mine too," my husband replied, and honked the horn three
times.
That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage.
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~~ The Sunday-school teacher said, "Quiet down.....
I want it so quiet I could hear a pin drop."
The class became still and one youngster called out,
"Okay, let her drop!"
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~~ Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Dayscare centers.
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~~ "Now, how many of you would like to go to heaven?"
asked the Sunday school teacher.
All the eager children raised their hands except Little Teddy.
"I'm sorry, I can't.
My mother told me to come right home after Sunday school,"
explained Little Teddy...
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Todays Thought: Cheerfulness is contagious, but don't wait to catch it from others.
Be a "carrier".
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