.
Never forget the VETS......God Bless all those that serve ......
Semper Fi....Capt..
This guy is cool......
.
Watch that tounge....it's dangerous......
.
Cuppa dog tea..??
.
He's learning how to compute....maybe work in a call center.......
.
I believe someones ticklish.........
.
Friends....?
.
Yea....Now clean that up......
.
Well, time for me to run off........Oppppps.
.
♥♥♥
~~ One evening my teenage daughter, Ree, and I were out
shopping when she decided to make a purchase.
She greeted the cashier with only a "Hi," then proceeded to
dig nervously in her wallet.
She was having obvious trouble counting out the correct bills
and change.
But rather than help, the cashier simply stood and watched while
Ree fumbled and mumbled her way to the correct amount.
Finally, the transaction was completed.
As we were walking to the car, Ree turned to me and said,
"That was my math tutor."
.
~~ One thousand pairs of underwear were stolen from a
department store.
Police were making a brief enquiry.
.
~~ The gladiator was having a rough day in the arena.
His opponent had sliced off both of his arms.
Nevertheless, he kept on fighting, kicking and biting as furiously
as he could.
But when his opponent lopped off both feet,
our gladiator had no choice but to give up, for now he was
both unarmed and defeated.
.
~~ I was at my friend Bobbie's house on Halloween night.
Every year, she answers the door wearing a long black cape,
a witch's hat and protruding teeth.
The doorbell rang, and one little boy waiting for treats had teeth
that looked like Bobbies's.
"Oh, you've got a set of teeth like mine," she told him.
"Yeah," he replied, "but mine aren't my own!"
.
~~ I was against the construction of tennis courts in a nearby
park as I thought they would cause too much racket.
.
~~ Custom at a University dictated that if a professor was
ten minutes late, class was canceled.
One professor arrived early for a 9 a.m. lecture.
He placed his hat on his desk, and went to the faculty room.
Before he knew it, it was 9:10.
By the time he got back to his classroom, it was empty.
The next day, he let his students have it.
"When my hat is here," he fumed, "I'm here!"
The following day, the professor arrived at 9 a.m.
He was met by the sight of 28 hats on 28 desks -- and no students.
.
~~ A husband comes home in the wee hours of the morning.
As he undresses, his wife sees that he doesn't have his jockey
shorts.
She asks, "Where's your underwear?"
The man looks down and says, "My God, I've been robbed!"
.
~~ One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and
a package of garden seeds.
.
~~ After being introduced to the other dinner guests as
"the couple with six children and twins on the way,"
my husband and I became the focus of attention.
"How do you do it?" one guest asked.
"Oh, you should see her home," one neighbor exclaimed.
"She's so organized, and her house is immaculate."
Everyone seemed impressed, until my husband, who was
coming down with a cold, reached into his pocket and
proceeded to sneeze into a pair of one of our sons' neatly
folded plaid boxers.
.
~~ While waiting in line to check out at a paint store,
a customer held up a yardstick and asked the clerk,
"Do these come any larger?"
.
~~ When I questioned a livestock delivery company as to
whether or not they could quickly move some donkeys...
they said they could haul ass.
.
~~ While Amanda is at her friend's house it starts to rain very
heavily.
Her friend tells her to spend the night at her house and go
home the next day.
When she hears this, Amanda rushes out the door and comes
back a while later totally drenched and carrying a small,
soggy paper bag.
So her friend asks "Where did you run off too?"
"I went home to get my pajamas!"
.
.
Todays Thought: A man who is good enough to shed his blood for his country is
good enough to be given a square deal afterwards.
More than that no man is entitled to, and less than that no man
shall have.- President Theodore Roosevelt ......
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