Gonna be in the 70's today.... Just right for getting up
leaves.....We get piles of them, to mulch.....
.
Okay....I'm calmed down...Now, What??
.
Lady! they say "Don't feed the animals"...or your next!.......
.
Yea....calm down and have a cig......
.
Yeh.....He's desperate alright!....need beer is more like it!
.
It's so calm around here, the squirrels play poker after meals
of my cats food.... next thing you know they will be playing poker
with the cats...
.
Gotts be some tough bread..... Damn squirrles would take them from you...
.
I bet they won't get around "Big Foot"......
.
The hoss is saying: I'll get you yet!!. you better run.......
.
Well, I guess I'll pich up my mess, and head in........
.
♥♥♥
~~ Today's supermarket sells almost everything.
But if you find auto tires among the groceries, you're in the
wrong place.
That's a drugstore.
.
~~ Still perspiring with fear, the hunter told the friend back at
camp, "Here I was with this thirteen-foot grizzly hot on my tail,
snorting hard and out for blood.
My gun was out of ammo, and the only refuge in sight was a
tree whose lowest branch was twenty feet of the ground."
"Do you mean to say that you actually managed to jump up and
grab that branch?"
"On my way down," the shaken hunter replied.
.
~~ A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how
many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you
sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their
way back in before hitting the construction barrels.
.
~~ Cinnie saw a newspaper ad for a $10 river cruise.
So he went out to the jetty, where he saw a bloke with a baseball
bat and a coil of rope.
"I'm here for the river cruise", Cinnie said, handing him the ten
dollars.
The bloke took the money then smacked Cinnie over the ear with
the bat.
Next thing Cinnie knew, he was floating down the river tied to a log.
Then he spotted his friend Pete, who was also tied to a log and
floating downstream.
"Hey, Pete!" Cinnie yelled. "Do they serve meals on this trip?"
"They didn't last year!" Pete yelled back.
.
~~ American novelist Sinclair Lewis (1885-1951) once stayed
in a hotel which boasted a marvelous swimming pool...which,
to his dismay, had been booked by a contingent of policemen
visiting for a police convention and was therefore off limits.
A determined Lewis descended to the pool,
secured admittance, jumped in, introduced himself as a fellow
officer, and spent a delightful hour exchanging professional
stories with two hundred 'colleagues'.
At dinnertime, everyone showed up: the policemen dressed
in their uniforms; Lewis in a sack suit.
He then grinned at his 'colleagues' and made a beeline
for his room.
.
~~ While watching a program about fashion models,
my friend turned to her husband.
"I would love to have a body like that," she said.
"Why?" he asked. "You'd only stretch it out."
Thats when the fight started......
.
~~ The children I teach have to have a change of clothes
for gym class.
But one day during gym, I noticed an nine-year-old girl wearing
a T-shirt I thought I had seen her wearing in an earlier class.
I asked her why she hadn't changed.
Before she could answer, her best friend chimed in indignantly:
"Yes, Janice has changed!
That's my T-shirt, and I'm wearing hers!"
.
~~ People seem to get nostalgic about a lot of things they
weren't so crazy about the first time around.
.
~~ While I was speaking with the mother of one of my
Grade 3 students, another teacher walked by.
The mother, remarking how beautiful the other teacher was,
said, "If my son had her for a teacher, he wouldn't be able to
concentrate."
Then she paused and added, "Good thing he has you."
.
~~ When I worked as a medical intern in a hospital,
one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent.
It took a while before I understood that he had no health
insurance.
Since he was a World War II veteran, I had him transported
to a VA hospital, where he'd be eligible for benefits.
The next day, my patient was back, along with this note from
the VA admitting nurse: "Right war, wrong side."
.
~~ I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers,
someone is taking the time to plant some.
.
~~ My young son was watching his grandfather put on shoes
using a device he'd never seen before.
"What's that?" Christopher asked.
"It's a shoehorn," his grandpa said, handing it to him.
Christopher was intrigued.
He looked it up and down, turning it over in his hands,
before asking, "How do you play it?"
.
.
Todays Thought: Be the person your dog thinks you are.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.