We're having a nice day, hope you are too.....
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Don't holler, I hear you....I HEAR YOU....
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Milo....When he was younger........and slep a lot....
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One of the great hunters.....sits on posts or trees and waits....
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Checking out the food..........
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It's only $1.99......but if you buy now we'll give you two....
how's that for a deal???
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Modern Shoes?? when 1950??
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Looks like it was a great party........
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Learning about head phones...........
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Mr. Evil.........
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♥♥♥
~~ Gus was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey.
His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look
carefully at his client.
"Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer,
"you've looked carefully at the defendant.
Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my
client had a quart of whiskey he would sell it?"
He was acquitted.
.
~~ "Boys just like one thing," my ten-year-old told a friend.
Oh, no, the end of her innocence, I thought.
Then she announced her finding: "PlayStations."
.
~~ A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy
study, has discovered that anyone with insufficient brain
activity reads e-mail with one's hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now; it's too late.
.
~~ My sister's youngest boy liked nothing better than to sit on
his grandfather's knee and have stories read to him.
One day after a story about Noah's ark, and how Noah led pairs
of animals to the safety of the ark the little boy asked,
"Granddad, you are very old, were you in Noah's ark?"
"Gosh no", said Granddad.
"In that case, how come you didn't drown when the flood came?"
.
~~ Barbara, during her nurse's training at a hospital just
outside Washington, DC, had little money for meals,
so she often resorted to the food provided at the hospitals
kitchen, even though she had a great dislike for its rather
bland taste.
Barbara often took her breaks in the kitchen,
and sometimes kindly visitors would give her some of the
treats they had brought for patients who had not wanted to
eat them.
On one particular evening an English woman,
from the East end of London, brought a home made pie to
the kitchen and said to Barbara, 'Would you eat this up, love?'
Barbara and her student friend devoured every last delicious
crumb.
Soon their benefactor returned, however, and asked,
'Is me 'usband's pie 'ot yet, dearie?'
.
~~ QUESTION: How did the ghost sew his sheet?
ANSWER: With a pumpkin patch.
.
~~ Why was big brother Freddie unhappy when he won first
prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?
Because Freddie had only come to collect her sister.
.
~~ QUESTION: Why did the witches' team lose the table
tennis game?
ANSWER: Their bats flew away.
.
~~ ANNOY THOSE PESKY TELEMARKETERS...
After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to
marry you.
When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just
give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
.
~~ American journalist Milt Sosin was famed for scooping
other reporters.
One day long before the advent of the cellular telephone,
when reporters would race to the courthouse pay phones to
call in news of the latest verdict, a young reporter named
Martin Merzer (writer for the Miami Herald) found himself
seated beside Sosin in a crowded courtroom.
"Hey, kid," Sosin said, "have you filed yet?"
No, Merzer replied.
The phone was out of order.
Sosin then slowly reached into his pocket.
"He had this wonderful, evil smile on his face," Merzer later
recalled.
The source of Sosin's mischievous mirth?
His pad of yellow "out of order" stickers which he would slap
on a phone before going into the courtroom.
.
~~ A young man proposes marriage to his sweetheart.
The girl replies, "If I marry you, will you promise to give up
smoking?"
"Yes, I will", came the reply.
"And drinking?"
"I will give up drinking as well."
"And going to the club with your cronies?"
"Yes, I will."
"And what else will you give up for my sake?", she asked finally.
"I have already given up the idea of marrying you."
.
~~ An airplane pilot got engaged to two very pretty women
at the same time.
One was named Edith; the other named Kate.
The women met, discovered they had the same fiancee,
and told him: "Get out of our lives you rascal.
We'll teach you that you can't have your KATE AND EDITH, too."
.
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Todays Thought: You are never fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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Yep! My hands on the mouse lol.
ReplyDeleteKate and Edith too! love it
Rae x