Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....friends and readers from everywere.......

Hope you enjoy our postings..... I have fun doing them....

Get Well..."Witchy"....missing you...

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oou...he don't know what to say......

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If you speed here...this is what gives chase..... funds been cut...

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Bride on wheels...... a fast moving marrige....?

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Run little buddy, run.......

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A sad picture....don't go Daddy.....

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A lot of people love Bacon.......

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including this guy...... but he'll take any meat......

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Fly "Art"....... I don't know....?

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♥♥♥

~~ With Bible in hand, I read to my high school religion class,

"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and
cleave to his wife."
"Okay," I said, "from this Scripture, what do we learn is
important in marriage?"
A student blurted out, "Cleavage."

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~~ My parents are both busy professional people and have
trouble finding time for chores and home maintenance.
On weekends they each make a list of things to be done.
Father's list is never completely crossed off, but Mother's
always is.
Puzzled, I asked her how she managed that.
"Simple," she answered with a satisfied grin.
"I do the chore first, and then I put it on the list and cross it off!"

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~~ You cannot stop the ongoing love affair between pasta
sauce and your clothing.

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~~ I was briefing my department on a less-than-thrilling subject:
military etiquette.
I suppose I was overly enthusiastic, because when I checked
my watch, I was amazed at how late it was.
Not my audience: One seaman said,
"Sir, if your watch has stopped, there's a calendar behind you."

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~~ One day in artillery instruction, a colonel came to inspect
our class..... First up was Private O'Hara.
The colonel got in his face and asked him what reading he
had on his 105 mm. howitzer.
"Two- nine-oh-seven, sir," was the reply.
"Soldier," said the colonel, "don't you know you never say
'oh' in the artillery?..... You say 'zero.
' What's your name, soldier?"
"Zero Hara, sir," answered the private.

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~~ While walking home from daycare one crisp autumn evening,
my four- year-old son, Justin, turned to me and asked,
"Mommy, when leaves fall down, do they get hurt?"

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~~ A middle-aged Londoner was faced with a difficult decision
when choosing between two lovely ladies, Anna and Mary,
both willing to join him in matrimony.
Although not a religious man, this Londoner stumbled into a
church and, kneeling down in the pew, asked God for advice
on whether he should have Ann or Maria for his wife.
When the man got up he was most pleased to see that the
Almighty had put the answer right before his eyes: ‘Ave Maria.

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~~ After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play
on the American golf tour.
Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came
back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

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~~ The four-year-old son of a nurse was called indoors to eat.
Before he had time to sit down, his mother reminded him to
wash his hands so that germs would not make him sick.
Shuffling to the bathroom he mumbled,
"Jesus and germs........ Jesus and germs.
That's all I ever hear about and I ain't never seen either one."

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~~ A survey sent out to local contractors posed the question,
"What motivates you to come to work every day?"
One guy answered, "Probation officer."

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~~ When I worked for the security department of a large retail
store, my duties included responding to fire and burglar alarms.
A side door of the building was wired with a security alarm,
because it was not supposed to be used by customers.
Nevertheless they found the convenience of the exit tempting.
Even a sign with large red letters, warning 'Alarm will sound if
opened,' failed to deter people from using it.
One day, after attending to a number of shrieking alarms,
I placed a small handmade sign on the door that totally
eliminated the problem: 'Wet paint.'

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~~ Walking into the building where I worked,
I'd be greeted by a sign for another tenant's business.
It was big and bold and screamed,
"Richardson's Sound Studio."
Just below that one was a second, even larger sign.
It shouted, "Ear Piercing."
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Todays Thought: The easiest way to refold a road map is... differently.