Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning.....Eberyone......Hope you had a good weekend......

Got the bestest card,...from a special Lady... Made my day....

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Kids can just sleep anywhere........

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One of life's lessons.......

Must have been working hard..........just a cat nap needed.......

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A wannabe Pirate...?....I bet its hard driving......

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More Pirates??....They don't look too tuff.......

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What big teeth you have ....gramma.....

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Need some chest hair??.....Just what I need.......

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"How far is it to the nearest McDonalds?"

Well now your question can be answered.
Here is a map colored according to distance to McDs.
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What can you say??

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♥♥♥

~~ A grade school teacher was instructing her students on the

value of coins.
She took a half-dollar and laid it on her desk.
"Can any of you tell me what it is?" she asked.
From the back of the room came the answer: "Tails!"

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~~ Last June, my friend told me about her plans for our upcoming prom.
"I'm renting a stretch limo and spending $1,000 on a new dress,
and I've reserved a table at the most expensive restaurant in town," she said.
Our teacher overheard her and shook her head.
"I didn't spend that much on my wedding."
My friend answered, "I can have three or four weddings.
But a prom you do only once.

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~~ While editing announcements for a newspaper,
I came across an item promoting a camp for children with asthma.
Aside from all the wonderful activities the kids could enjoy,
such as canoeing, swimming, crafts and more,
it promised that its lakefront property offered something the
kids probably did not expect: "breathtaking views."

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~~ Despite his low opinion of lieutenants,
the sergeant kept a respectful tone as he taught us how to
bail out of a plane in an emergency.
"Sirs, to open the hatch," he began, "turn this lever to the right,
then pull that handle."
"What if we don’t follow that sequence?"
a second lieutenant asked.
"Then, sir," said the sergeant patiently,
"you hit the hatch handle with a crash axe."
"That’ll open the hatch?"
"No, sir.....................
But it will keep your mind occupied until you crash."

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~~ QUESTION: Why does beer go through your system so fast?
ANSWER: Because it doesn't have to stop and change color....

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~~ At a family gathering, a husband began teasing his wife
about how she always get her way.
"Honey," she said to her husband, "when I get my way,
that's a compromise."
"What is it when I get my way?" he was quick to ask.
She replied, "That's a miracle."

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~~ At the beginning of the school year, I asked my Grade 2
students to write about something exciting they did that summer,
then to draw a picture to illustrate it.
One student proudly presented his account of a ride on a
roller coaster, but he had not drawn a picture.
When I asked why he hadn't done this, he declared,
"I couldn't: I didn't see anything because my eyes were closed."

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~~ As the only vegetarian in my family,
I often get tired of defending my food choices to other
family members, especially at the large dinner gatherings
we have on special occasions.
I didn't realize how often the subject is actually discussed
until one day around Thanksgiving,
when I picked up my six-year-old, Jordan, from school.
His class had made Thanksgiving turkey crafts using potatoes
and paper feathers.
Jordan proudly presented his to me, announcing excitedly,
"Mom, this year we'll finally have the kind of turkey even
you can eat!"

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~~ One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt.
When he got in he said to the ticket collector:
"Sir. I really need you to do me a favour,
I have to get down this train in Mannheim,
but I'm very tired and it is for sure that I will fall asleep.
So what I want you to do is that you wake me up in
Mannheim because I have to close a business there and it
is very important for me.
Here you have 100 euros for the favour.
But I warn you sometimes when people wake me up I get
really violent, but no matters what I do or say you got to
get me out of this train in Mannheim. Is that clear?"
So the ticket collector agreed and took the 100 euros.
Later as the man had predicted he fall asleep,
and when he woke up he realized that he was in Frankfurt.
He was so mad at the ticket collector that he ran over and
started yelling at him.
"Are you STUPID or something???
I paid you 100 euros so that you wake me up in Mannheim.
And you didn't! I want my money back"........
While the man was yelling at the ticket guy, two other guys
that were also in the train were looking at them,
so one turns to the other and says to him:
"Look at this guy he is pissed!"
Guy2, "Yeah, almost as mad as the guy they made get out
of the train in Mannheim."

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~~ Unusual and intricate cakes were our specialty
at the bakery where I worked.
I told one of my customers she had chosen a cake
that was $25 and was recommended for five servings.
"Twenty dollars?" she asked me.
I repeated the cost.
But again she asked if it was $20.
Once more I corrected her.
"But if the cake is $25 for five servings,"
she explained, "then I should be charged $20 since
I'm serving only four people."


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~~ Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it.

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~~ In my kindergarten class, the "special person" of the
day brings an item from home and the children ask
questions like, "What is it?" and "Who gave it to you?"
They usually bring an action figure or favorite toy,
so I was impressed when Haley arrived with an educational toy.
When I asked why she chose to bring it,
Haley rolled her eyes and replied,...  "My Dad made me."
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Todays Thought:  A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
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