We're going to have showers today........
.
Okay....I'll get you a nut..........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
♥♥♥
~~ On my way to a picnic, I stopped at a fast-food place to
order a quart of potato salad.
"We don't sell it by the quart," the clerk snapped.
"Okay, then give me two pints, please," I replied.
I'm proud to say I held my tongue when she asked,
"Do you want it in one container?"
.
~~~ If you think marriage is going to be perfect,
you're probably still at your reception.
order a quart of potato salad.
"We don't sell it by the quart," the clerk snapped.
"Okay, then give me two pints, please," I replied.
I'm proud to say I held my tongue when she asked,
"Do you want it in one container?"
.
~~~ If you think marriage is going to be perfect,
you're probably still at your reception.
.
~~ While driving in the car with my son,
I had an "oldies" radio station on.
It played a song that I remembered from the 1960's.
"You know, Bobby, this song was on when I was in bed
with a broken leg when I was young."
"Gee, Dad, that's too bad," he replied.
"You couldn't even get up to turn it off."
.
~~ A mother walks in on her 6 year-old son and
finds him sobbing.
"What's the matter?" she asks.
"I've just figured out how to tie my shoes."
"Well, Honey, that's wonderful."
Being a wise mother, she recognized his victory in the struggle
of autonomy versus doubt:
"You're growing up, but why are you crying?"
"Because," he says, "now I'll have to do it every day for the rest
of my life."
.
~~ "I have no respect for gangs today.
None...... They just drive by and shoot people.
At least in the old days, like in West Side Story,
the gangs used to dance with each other."
.
~~ He (awkward dancer) -
"It was nice of you to give me this dance."
She (sweetly) - "Not at all...this is a charity ball."
.
~~ Bobbie: Gee, you smell good.
What have you got on?
Gus: Clean socks.
.
~~ Sherry, was exasperated with her younger sister,
who bought an unreliable car and called her for a ride
every time it broke down.
One day Sherry got yet another one of those calls.
"What happened this time?" she asked.
"My brakes went out," her sister said.
"Can you come and get me?"
"Where are you ?" Sherry asked.
"I'm in the drugstore," her sister responded."
And where's the car?"
"In here with me."
.
~~ If you're having trouble trying to distinguish among all the
sporting events that take up so much of television programming,
here is a simple rule to help you:
baseball is a game played to pipe organ music and
football is a game played to marching band music.
.
~~ Sign posted in the Army recruiting office:
"Marry a veteran, girls.
He can cook, make beds, sew and is already used to taking orders."
.
~~ A survey sent out to our contractors posed the question
"What motivates you to come to work every day?"
One guy answered, "Probation officer."
.
~~ While out walking on the African veld one day,
a missionary suddenly came face to face with a lion.
Thinking that his situation was hopeless,
he sank to his knees in prayer,
but then became greatly relieved when the lion got down on
his knees beside him.
"Dear brother lion," said the missionary,
"how heartening it is to find you joining me in Christian prayer
when a few moments ago I feared for my life!"
"Don't interrupt," growled the lion, "while I'm saying grace!"
.
.
Todays Thought: Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
.
~~ While driving in the car with my son,
I had an "oldies" radio station on.
It played a song that I remembered from the 1960's.
"You know, Bobby, this song was on when I was in bed
with a broken leg when I was young."
"Gee, Dad, that's too bad," he replied.
"You couldn't even get up to turn it off."
.
~~ A mother walks in on her 6 year-old son and
finds him sobbing.
"What's the matter?" she asks.
"I've just figured out how to tie my shoes."
"Well, Honey, that's wonderful."
Being a wise mother, she recognized his victory in the struggle
of autonomy versus doubt:
"You're growing up, but why are you crying?"
"Because," he says, "now I'll have to do it every day for the rest
of my life."
.
~~ "I have no respect for gangs today.
None...... They just drive by and shoot people.
At least in the old days, like in West Side Story,
the gangs used to dance with each other."
.
~~ He (awkward dancer) -
"It was nice of you to give me this dance."
She (sweetly) - "Not at all...this is a charity ball."
.
~~ Bobbie: Gee, you smell good.
What have you got on?
Gus: Clean socks.
.
~~ Sherry, was exasperated with her younger sister,
who bought an unreliable car and called her for a ride
every time it broke down.
One day Sherry got yet another one of those calls.
"What happened this time?" she asked.
"My brakes went out," her sister said.
"Can you come and get me?"
"Where are you ?" Sherry asked.
"I'm in the drugstore," her sister responded."
And where's the car?"
"In here with me."
.
~~ If you're having trouble trying to distinguish among all the
sporting events that take up so much of television programming,
here is a simple rule to help you:
baseball is a game played to pipe organ music and
football is a game played to marching band music.
.
~~ Sign posted in the Army recruiting office:
"Marry a veteran, girls.
He can cook, make beds, sew and is already used to taking orders."
.
~~ A survey sent out to our contractors posed the question
"What motivates you to come to work every day?"
One guy answered, "Probation officer."
.
~~ While out walking on the African veld one day,
a missionary suddenly came face to face with a lion.
Thinking that his situation was hopeless,
he sank to his knees in prayer,
but then became greatly relieved when the lion got down on
his knees beside him.
"Dear brother lion," said the missionary,
"how heartening it is to find you joining me in Christian prayer
when a few moments ago I feared for my life!"
"Don't interrupt," growled the lion, "while I'm saying grace!"
.
.
Todays Thought: Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.