Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....friends and neighbours...

Everyone have a good weekend?....

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You gotta watch out for this dude....knows Karate.....

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It's Gus....thinks he's a super Chicken..........

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Oh.....No......

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Any lower and they will fall......How do you walk??

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He thought that last picture was weird.....

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Yep....thats right......

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Coke party??....

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Blowing tea pots contest......... Why?

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Not mine....you keep him.........

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♥♥♥

~~ I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer

spectators. - Gerald Ford -

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~~ Our son asked, if he could borrow some money to buy a car.

Gus explained that borrowing money is a bad habit.

"Son, I got my first motorcycle when I was 18, and with my

own money!

I got my first car at 23, and with my own money!

And I got my second car when I got married,

and with my own money!"

At this point the son interjected excitedly,

"So there's no problem...

this car would be with your own money as well!"

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~~ While filling up at a gas station,

I accidentally spilled gasoline on my shirt.

When I went inside to pay, I noticed a woman crinkling her nose.

Embarrassed, I tried to put her mind at ease.

"If you smell gas," I said, "it's me."

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~~ QUESTION: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that

sometimes she's borderline irrational.

ANSWER: So what's your question?

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~~ Did you hear about the long-distance runner who took part

in a 100-mile race?

Well, he was in the lead and had one more mile to go, but he was

too tired to finish, so he turned around and ran back.

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~~~ Turtles are helping science.

Not long ago, the heart of a turtle was put into a man.

The man walked out of that hospital one week later, and six weeks

later he reached his car!

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~~~ Bobbie a friend of mine, told me about her weekend spent

babysitting her grandkids.

Her grandson wanted desperately to show her how well he dived

off the "big" diving board at the pool.

So she watched as he courageously climbed up the ladder, got into

position and jumped off, only to do a lopsided bellyflop.

She cringed and went to console him.

"That sure looked like it hurt!" she told him..... "Are you okay?"

"Grandma," he replied, "it hurt so bad that I think it broke a bone in my

heart!"

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~~~ (March 1989, South Carolina) Michael Anderson Godwin was

a lucky murderer whose death sentence had been commuted to

life in prison.

Ironically, he was sitting on the metal toilet in his cell and attempting

to fix the TV set when he bit down on a live wire and electrocuted

himself.

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~~ A lady went to see a tarot reader,

TAROT READER: Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that

your husband will die in the near future.

LADY: Don't tell me things that I already know,

tell me if there would be an investigation!!

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~~ Professor Gonnen Dunnit of the physics department,

has spent a lifetime pursuing the as-of-yet unreachable goal

of creating cold fusion in the lab.

In his latest effort, he used molecules from corn to

trigger the process on the atomic level.

During one attempt, it seemed that Professor Dunnit actually

achieved his goal - the process resulted in a spherical burst

of energy.

The professor wrote it up and submitted it, but no other

scientist could duplicate his results.

The Nobel Prize committee considered his results but

dismissed Professor Dunnit's efforts, saying he had only

created a ball of corn fusion.

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~~ After meeting with the boss, the head salesperson mustered the

troops.

"People," she said, "I've just been informed that we're going to be

having a fire sale."

"A fire sale?" spoke up one agent...... "But we sell insurance."

"I said a fire sale, and I meant it, she replied hotly.

"Anyone who doesn't make a sale gets fired."

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~~ My friend and I were discussing our mutual weight problem

one evening, when I challenged her to a contest.

If I lost the most weight in the next month,

I wouldn't have to pay the $25 that I owed her.

If she lost the most weight, I would have to pay up.

Anything for an incentive!

"All right," said Bobbie happily.

"But let's wait two weeks before we start.

There are some things I have to eat first."

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~~ A man goes to the doctor complaining about

stomach problems.

The doctor asks him what he's been eating.

"I only eat pool balls," he says.

"Red ones for breakfast, yellow and orange ones for lunch,

blue for afternoon snacks, and purple and black for dinner."

"I see the problem," says the doctor.

"You're not getting enough greens."

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~~ GREETING CARDS: When you care enough to send the

very best but not enough to actually write something.

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Todays Thought: "People never lie so much as after a hunt,

during a war or before an election."

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