Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....Friends......another nice day.......

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Friends.....

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Is this a beaut...... A Bugitti....16 cyl.

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Looking at this yawning cat....will make you do it too....

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Balk beer opener......

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After the par-tay..........The fish's are laffing....

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The pig has a big head this morning........

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And everybody forgot the cat, last night.......

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Don't you let one box of tomatoes fall........

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So thats were you went last night....sleep it off did you....

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♥♥♥

~~ Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously

knocked on his blind date's door.

She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone

had said.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said.

"Why don't you play with Rollo while you're waiting?"

He does wonderful tricks.

He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make a hoop

with your arms, he'll jump through."

The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over.

Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through-and

over the balcony railing.

Just then Paul's date walked out.

"Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?"

"To tell the truth, " he replied,

"he seemed a little depressed to me."

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~~ I've never understood why women love cats.

Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in

when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when

they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.

In other words, every quality that women hate in a man,

they love in a cat.

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~~ Q: What do you call a snowman in June?

A: A puddle.

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~~ An attorney and his five-year-old son were strolling

through a mall.

When a woman wearing a cervical collar walked by,

the boy proclaimed, "Look, Dad! It's a plaintiff!"

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~~ When my husband was away at basic training,

my four-year-old daughter and I stayed with my sister.

Since my daughter already called me Mommy,

she started calling her aunt Mom,

the way her six-year-old cousin did.

One day, someone called.

I picked up the extension and overheard the person ask my

daughter if her daddy was home.

She said, "No, he's in the Army."

"Is your mom home?" he asked.

"Yes, but she's asleep with Uncle Danny."

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~~ The teacher came up with a good problem.

"Suppose," she asked the second-graders,

"there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence.

How many would be left?"

"None," answered little Wyatt.

"None?".......

Wyatt, you don't know your arithmetic."

"Teach, you don't know your sheep.

When one goes, they all go!"

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~~ A small boy is sent to bed by his father...

[Five minutes later]

"Da-ad..."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty.

Can you bring me a drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

[Five minutes later]

"Da-aaaad..."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY...

Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"

[Five minutes later]

"Daaaa-aaaAAAAD..."

"WHAT??!!"

"When you come in to spank me,

can you bring me a drink of water?"

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~~ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930), the creator of

Sherlock Holmes, enjoyed practical jokes.

He is said to have once sent a telegram to twelve of his friends,

all people of great significance and power.

The telegram said: "Flee at once, the secret is discovered."

Within 24 hours all twelve had left the country.

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~~ Gus strolls into the paint section of a hardware store and

walks up to the assistant.

"I'd like a pint of canary-colored paint," he says.

"Certainly," says the clerk..... "Mind if I ask why you need it?"

"My parakeet," says Gus.

"See, I want to enter him in a canary contest.

He sings so sweetly that I know he's sure to win."

"Well, you can't do that, Man!" the assistant says.

"The chemicals in the paint will almost certainly kill the poor thing!"

"No, they won't," Jim replies.

"Listen, Buddy, I'll bet you ten bucks your parakeet dies if you

try to paint him."

"You're on!" says Gus.

Two days later Gus comes back looking very sheepish and

puts ten bucks on the counter in front of the clerk.

"So the paint killed your bird?"

"Indirectly," Gus says.

"He seemed to handle the paint okay, but he didn't survive the

sanding between coats."

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~~ Not-so-elderly lady: Well, Doctor, I guess I've reached that

awkward age.

Doctor: What do you mean?

Lady: Too young for Medicare, and too old for men to care!

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~~ I love to go to the doctor.

Where else would a man look at me and say,

"Take off your clothes"? -Phyllis Diller-

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Todays Thought: If you don't have enemies, you don't have character.

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