Good Morning,...everyone....Are you ready for a great long.....
Labor day weekend?
.
The Sun's coming up........Gonna be nice all weekend......
Now,..that's gotta hurt........gonna have a bo-bo....
Share the breakfast??.
Damn....they thought it was funny...........
5-4-3-2-1.....Liftoff..........................................
What can I say??......
I just don't know.........
Hungry??........Foot burger?.
Think it will be good in the snow??.
♥♥♥
~~~ My girlfriend said she lost ten pounds
I said, "Turn around, I think I found it".
.
~~~ Ethical question......
A lawyer in a small town had just finished drafting a Will for an
elderly widow and told her the bill would be $100.00.
When she hands him the money he realizes that she has handed
him two $100.00 bills stuck together.
He is immediately presented with an ethical dilemma...
Should he tell his partner?
.
~~~ hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home.
In the Den was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag Him?"
The host said proudly, "That was three years ago,
when I went hunting with my ex-wife."
"What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter.
"My ex-wife" replied the hunter.
.
~~~ A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of
tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside.
His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "Youre beautiful."
Flattered, the wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep.
Later, her husband woke up and said, "Youre cute."
Startled, she asked him, "What happened to beautiful?"
"The drugs are wearing off," he replied.
.
~~~ I have a friend who's a midget
and also happens to be an epileptic.
He owns a successful pizza resturant called Little Seizures.
.
~~~ Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the crib?
Son: You told me to change the baby.
.
~~~ Football is a game in which a handful of men run
around for two hours watched by millions of people who could
really use the exercise.
.
~~~ TV has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for the remote control.
.
~~~ One afternoon, Karyn, my sister-in-law, was driving with her two
little girls, Taylor and Tyneel, in the back seat.
After a few minutes of listening to them argue, Kary yelled,
"Knock it off, both of you!"
Taylor, the eldest, asked, "How did you know what we were doing?"
"Mommies have eyes in the back of their heads....." Karyn replied.
A few weeks later, the gang was again out driving, doing some errands.
"Mommy," Taylor asked innocently, "do you still have eyes in the back
of your head?"
"Of course I do," Karyn responded.
"Why do you ask?"
"Well," she said, pointing to the object in her hands, "I thought maybe
you could read us this book while you drive."
.
~~~ “I’m worried about you always being at the bottom of your
class,” said the father to his son.
“Don’t worry Dad,” he replied.
“They still teach the same thing at both ends.”
.
~~~ What happens when two snails fight?
They slug it out.
.
~~~ I was shopping in Toronto with my two grandsons, Sean and Eric,
when the security alarm rang as we were leaving a store.
I handed one employee my bag so he chould check it, then my
grandsons and I left.
Later that summer in Edmonton, shopping at the same chain, again
the security alarm sounded as we were leaving.
Eleven-year-old Sean said to a nearby store employee,
"It's my grandma, she has a magnetic personality!"
.
~~~ The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say
he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the
microwave.
.
~~~ "But why did you leave your last place?" the lady asked of the
would-be cook.
"To tell the truth, miss, I just couldn't stand the way the master an' the
missus used to quarrel."
"Dear me!
Do you mean to say that they actually used to quarrel?"
"Yes, miss, all the time.
When it wasn't me an' him, it was me an' her."
.
~~~ "I have a hunch."
"Really? And I thought you were just round-shouldered."
.
.
Todays Thought: Be naughty – save Santa the trip.
1 comment:
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh Gus, it's supposed to be our secret :-)
Taz x
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