Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning ...friends and neighbours....

Labor day weekend is here........

"Witchy"....hope your feeling better..........

.

Dung Beetle....Maybe it's corny, but it made me laugh....

.

A real cutie....huh??

.

Anjana the chimpanzee is well qualified to kitten-sit orphaned

puma cub Sierra, helping the humans at a South Carolina zoo with

all the feeding, cuddling – and chasing – duties.

.

The Many Moods of the Chameleon............

.

Animal trainer Neil Egland uses a fire hose to cool off Kachina,

left, and Cinnamon, American black bears that were evacuated from

the Wildlife Waystation on Little Tujunga Road in the Angeles

National Forest.

.

Fahrenheit 747: World’s Biggest Fire Extinguisher........

.

A wedding chapel on wheels....

.

Do you see the flame shoes buddy?

That means I will not think twice about karate chopping you!

.

Wouldn’t you like to know what I plan on doing with this beer

and olive oil?

.

.

♥♥♥

~~~ When Gus, took his beat-up pickup truck to his insurance

agent for a pre-insurance inspection, the teen-age receptionist

was sent to look over the truck.

Armed with a checklist and a few simple questions,

she breezed through the chore.

She asked, "What are the age and make of the vehicle?"

Gus replied, "It's a '88 Ford."

Apologetic about its desperate condition, he added,

"It's an old fossil."

Inside, the office assistant entered the data into her computeer

and frowned. "Is there a problem?" asked Gus.

"Gus, our computers have a lot of automotive data," she explained,

"but it's never heard of a Ford Fossil."

.

~~~ Note; A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the

church hall. Music will follow.

.

~~~ "Sometimes," complained the presidential aide,

"I wish we had a Pope instead of a President.

Then we'd only have to kiss his ring."

'

~~~ Bobbie was watching the Discovery Channel.

They said laughter increased your pain tolerance.

Hence, the laughing gas at the dentist office.

She decided to get a bikini wax and prepared herself by laughing

all day.

At the appointment the same day, the wax is slapped on and she

is still laughing.......... Then it happened.

RIIIIP!

She never watched the Discovery Channel again...

.

~~~ A bank is a dignified institution that was established for

people to have a place to keep the government's money until

tax time.

.

~~~ A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary

school.

He talked to the children about his tribe and its traditions,

then shared with them the fun fact,

"There are no swear words in the Cherokee language."

One boy raised his hand,

"But what if you're hammering a nail and accidentally smash

your thumb?"

"That," the man answered,..... "is when we use your language."

.

~~~ Here's a new invention -- a solar-powered clothes dryer.

It's called a clothes line.....

.

~~~ A woman who had been married three times walked into a

bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking

for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

'Of course, madam,' replied the sales clerk, 'exactly what type

and color dress are you looking for?'

The bride to be said, 'A long, frilly, white dress with a veil.'

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said,

'Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature

are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married

the first time, for those who are a bit more innocent,

if you know what I mean.

Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice.'

'Well,' replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness,

'I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate.

Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent

as a first-time bride.

'You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding,

he died as we were checking into our hotel.

'My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo

on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled

immediately and never spoke to each other again.'

'What about your third husband?' asked the sales clerk.

'That one was a Democrat,' said the woman, 'and every night for

four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how

good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened.'

.

~~~ Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain

a bachelor.~~~- Lady Bird Johnson -~~~

.

~~~ ** THE NAME GAME **

* If Kitty Carlisle married Conway Twitty, she'd be Kitty Twitty.

* If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.

* If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.

* If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.

* If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced

him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.

* If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry

Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

* If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.

* If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and

married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

* If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop

Doggy Dogg Pooh.

* How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married

Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.

*If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten,

then Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.

* If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor),

King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and

Norbert Wiener (mathematician),

she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

.

~~~ The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die

out when it was discovered that they could give orders better

from there.

.

~~~ The judge had not yet put in an appearance in the traffic court.

When the bailiff entered the courtroom, he sensed the nervousness

of the traffic offenders awaiting their ordeal.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen," he said.

"Welcome to 'What's My Fine?"

.

.

Todays Thought: "Humans can always be counted on to assert with vigor their

God- given right to be stupid."

.