The Eagle flies over today......
.
A monkey kiss......... or is it your aftershave?.
Flipper soccer.....Kick a goal......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.
I thought I heard a strange noise, under the hood.......
I thought I heard a strange noise, under the hood........
Riding his BMW.......how cool is that?....
This is a great image from the 1910's showing a friendly game of auto polo. 
Gotta go....Time for the school bus.......
Riding his BMW.......how cool is that?.....
This is a great image from the 1910's showing a friendly game of auto polo. I guess when the car first came out, people explored all the different ways that
the car could replace the horse. It looks like a great game, and safe too?
.
Gotta go....Time for the school bus........
Just sunning hisself..........
Just sunning hisself...........
Just resting...running up and down them trees is tiring....
Just resting...running up and down them trees is tiring.....
♥♥♥
~~~ Gus takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross eyed.
Is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"..
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
.
~~~ A local lawyer was sitting in his office the other morning when in walked
a beautiful young lady.
Without any preliminaries she said she wanted a divorce.
"On what grounds?" asked the lawyer.
"I don't think he is faithful to me," she replied.
"And what makes you think he isn't faithful?" asked the lawyer.
"Well," replied the young lady...............
"I don't think he is the father of my child."
.
~~~ A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies.
Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.
"Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!"
Ground control received her call for help and answers back:
"Don't worry, madam...... I'll talk you down, just do as I say.
First I need you to give me your height and position".
"I'm 5"2' and sitting in the front".
.
~~~ My 17-year-old nephew asked me if he could use my name as a
reference on his resume', which he planned to submit to a local fast-food
restaurant.
I agreed.
A few days later he called and asked me to meet him at the restaurant later
that afternoon.
When I asked him why, he replied, "The manager wants me to come in for
an interview, and she told me to bring my references."
.
~~~ After many years, her original wedding band had become worn and thin,
so she asked her husband to buy her a new ring as her anniversary present.
But this time she asked him to buy her one with diamonds.
They went down to the jewelry store to pick one out.
As they waited for the clerk, she said to her husband,
"My eyes aren't as good as they used to be,
so I'd really like diamonds I can see."
Having overheard their conversation, a lady standing nearby remarked,
"Sir, it would be cheaper if you bought her glasses."
.
~~~ OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake.
.
~~~ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful, and damaging to
all things American.
But if I were twenty-two with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful,
patriotic, and a progressive religious experience."- Shelley Winters -
.
~~~ Now that the metric system is in wide use all over the world,
we can see why Americans have not adopted it:
A miss is as good as 1.6 kilometers.
Put your best .3 of a meter forward.
Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child.
Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.
Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he'll take 1.6 kilometers.
Peter Piper picked 8.8 liters of pickled peppers.
.
~~~ A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander.
"Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard
them," instructed the lawyer.
The witness hesitated......
"But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear," she protested.
"Then," said the attorney, "just whisper them to the judge."
.
~~~ If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
.
~~~ Lunching in a pub before a matinee performance,
British actor Wilfrid Lawson met fellow-actor Richard Burton and invited
him to the show that afternoon.
As Lawson was not due to appear at the beginning of the play, he sat with
Burton to watch the opening scenes.
Some twenty minutes into the performance, however,
Burton was a little concerned to find Lawson still sitting beside him,
having made no move to leave and prepare for his entrance.
A few moments later, Lawson tapped Burton on the arm.
"You'll like this bit," he whispered excitedly.
"This is where I come on."
.
~~~ DAD: Don’t be selfish.
Let your sister use the sled half the time.
SON: I do, Dad.
I use it going down the hill and she gets to use it coming up.
.
.
.
Todays Thought: Worry is like a rocking chair;
it keeps you busy, but gets you nowhere...........
"My dog's cross eyed.
Is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"..
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
.
~~~ A local lawyer was sitting in his office the other morning when in walked
a beautiful young lady.
Without any preliminaries she said she wanted a divorce.
"On what grounds?" asked the lawyer.
"I don't think he is faithful to me," she replied.
"And what makes you think he isn't faithful?" asked the lawyer.
"Well," replied the young lady...............
"I don't think he is the father of my child."
.
~~~ A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies.
Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.
"Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!"
Ground control received her call for help and answers back:
"Don't worry, madam...... I'll talk you down, just do as I say.
First I need you to give me your height and position".
"I'm 5"2' and sitting in the front".
.
~~~ My 17-year-old nephew asked me if he could use my name as a
reference on his resume', which he planned to submit to a local fast-food
restaurant.
I agreed.
A few days later he called and asked me to meet him at the restaurant later
that afternoon.
When I asked him why, he replied, "The manager wants me to come in for
an interview, and she told me to bring my references."
.
~~~ After many years, her original wedding band had become worn and thin,
so she asked her husband to buy her a new ring as her anniversary present.
But this time she asked him to buy her one with diamonds.
They went down to the jewelry store to pick one out.
As they waited for the clerk, she said to her husband,
"My eyes aren't as good as they used to be,
so I'd really like diamonds I can see."
Having overheard their conversation, a lady standing nearby remarked,
"Sir, it would be cheaper if you bought her glasses."
.
~~~ OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake.
.
~~~ "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful, and damaging to
all things American.
But if I were twenty-two with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful,
patriotic, and a progressive religious experience."- Shelley Winters -
.
~~~ Now that the metric system is in wide use all over the world,
we can see why Americans have not adopted it:
A miss is as good as 1.6 kilometers.
Put your best .3 of a meter forward.
Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child.
Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.
Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he'll take 1.6 kilometers.
Peter Piper picked 8.8 liters of pickled peppers.
.
~~~ A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander.
"Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard
them," instructed the lawyer.
The witness hesitated......
"But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear," she protested.
"Then," said the attorney, "just whisper them to the judge."
.
~~~ If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
.
~~~ Lunching in a pub before a matinee performance,
British actor Wilfrid Lawson met fellow-actor Richard Burton and invited
him to the show that afternoon.
As Lawson was not due to appear at the beginning of the play, he sat with
Burton to watch the opening scenes.
Some twenty minutes into the performance, however,
Burton was a little concerned to find Lawson still sitting beside him,
having made no move to leave and prepare for his entrance.
A few moments later, Lawson tapped Burton on the arm.
"You'll like this bit," he whispered excitedly.
"This is where I come on."
.
~~~ DAD: Don’t be selfish.
Let your sister use the sled half the time.
SON: I do, Dad.
I use it going down the hill and she gets to use it coming up.
.
.
.
Todays Thought: Worry is like a rocking chair;
it keeps you busy, but gets you nowhere...........
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