Thursday, September 17, 2009

Good Morning, Friends...Well a light rain is falling... 70º today..
And the leaves are starting to fall.... nice change..feels good.
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It's a kitty in a box.
This is easily the most adorable picture I've seen all week
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Now...I don't think this is cute by a long way........
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Piccolo Pete, is looking for something to eat....
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Beauty mud bath?.....
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Swallowed by the toilet.......?
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Pumpkin Gator.....watch your hand......
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You better run.. that thing looks mean..but there's gas ahead..
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Think it will fly??
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This ones just big......It's just for show.......
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♥♥♥
~~ Three animals were having a huge argument over who
was the best.
The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly,
he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey
had nary a chance.
The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength---
none in the forest dared to challenge him.
The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength
to frighten off any creature.
As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and
swallowed them all: hawk, lion and stinker!

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~~ Q. What do you call an adolescent rabbit?
A. A pubic hair.
Q. How can you tell if you have acne?
A. If the blind can read your face.
Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a
man fighting with his wife...
A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.

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~~ During a funeral, the organist played a beautiful rendition
of Bach's "Sheep May Safely Graze" as the casket was carried
out of the church. After the service, the minister complimented him on his performance.
"Oh, by the way," the minister asked,
"Do you know what the deceased did for a living?"
"No idea," said the organist as he began packing up.
The minister smiled, "He was a butcher."

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~~ Visiting a college campus, the prospective student spots
a building called Hemingway Hall.
"How nice," he says.
"That building is named for Ernest Hemingway.
"Actually," says the tour guide,....
"it's named for Joshua Hemingway."
"Was he a writer?" the student asks.
"Yes. He wrote a big cheque."

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~~ My wife complains her clothes are so old,
they were made in America.

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~~ So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and
talk about your carpets?".
I thought "That's all I need, a JeHoover's witness".

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~~ Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at
a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year.
If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago
the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet
from the earth's surface.
This would explain the death of the dinosaurs.
The tallest ones, anyway.

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~~ The American History teacher was lecturing the class on
the Puritans.
She asked, "What sort of people were punished in the stocks?"
A small voice from the back of the room responded,
"Small investors."

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~~ QUESTION: What do you do with a bachelor who thinks
he's God's gift?
ANSWER: Exchange him.

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~~ The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well
as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets,
and to steal bread.

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~~ Our coworker Patrick shared his worst workday ever.
He was at an appliance store and the delivery truck had broken
down, which meant he was flooded with angry phone calls from
customers.
One irate caller canceled the delivery and told Patrick what he
could do with it.
"I'm sorry," said Patrick.
"That's impossible.
I already have a stove, a vacuum cleaner, and a microwave
up there."

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~~ Little Johnny and his buddy .... are walking down the street
when.....
Johnny: My uncle the big shot's coming to visit with us next week.
Buddy: Oh yeah? What makes him a big shot, what's he do?
Johnny: Ahhhhh, he's some kinda politician down there in
Washington..
Buddy: WOW! Honest?!?!
Johnny: Nahhhh, he's just like the rest o' them!
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Todays Thought: Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
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