The phone lines are messing up... Dial-up sucks....
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The little girl, two, met one-year-old orangutan Rishi at an animal centre whilevisiting with her father.
They took to each other straight away and spent hours tumbling about and
having a tea party.
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I guess this little feller can hear very good.......
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Chuck is bad to the bone.............................
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Playing with his Teddybear......He's saying "Mama what is this??
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Running for his life: The gamekeeper flees as the hungry hippo charges at him.
Hippos are some of the most aggressive creatures on Earth ..........
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Kitten has a good ride..........
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"Benz fully built in white gold. Price tag: $50 Mil."...
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My Buddy "Eno................................
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♥♥♥
~~~ My mother-in-law grows a great patch of potatoes.
In fact, to get them off to a good start, she plants each seed potato in a small
paper bag...... It keeps the dirt out of their eyes.
.
~~~ Upon boarding a recent flight from Newark to Atlanta and animated
flight attendant began to the preparatory speech and safety instruction to
the packed flight.
Over the intercom he announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the main cabin
door has been closed in preparation for departure.
The captain now asks that all electronic devices including: pagers, cell phones,
I-phones, I-pods, blackberry’s, blueberries, strawberries and anything
with an on/off switch, including but not limited to Atari game systems and
Easy-Bake Ovens, be turned off at this time.
Please enjoy your flight and Thank You for choosing us for all your land travel
--err--I mean AIR TRAVEL needs!"
.
~~~ A town on the edge of the Mojave Desert boasts four gas stations.
Three of them plan to sue the owner of the first station on the line.
He's put up a big sign proclaiming.........
"This is your last chance to fill up before you hit the desert......
The three others you think you see are mirages!"
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~~~ "Hey John, you got yourself new pants and a shirt."
"My wife got them for me."
"Must have been a surprise."
"Sure was. I come home and there they were on a chair in the bedroom!"
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~~~ Children's Books That Didn't Make the Cut..............
*You Are Different and That's Bad...
*Dad's New Wife Robert...
*Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share...
*Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book...
*The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking...
*Some Kittens Can Fly...
*The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator...
*The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy...
*Strangers Have the Best Candy ...
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~~~ Gail, a neighbor, wanted to buy her workaholic boss a special gift.
Knowing that I create handcrafted items as a hobby, she came to me.
I made a few suggestions, all of which she said weren't quite right.
Frustrated, Gail asked, "What do I get for a person who has no life?"
"How about a nice urn?" I replied.
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~~~ "In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis
situations: fight or flee.
In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee...or laugh."
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~~~ A man walks into a flower shop.
"I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs, "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help.......... What exactly have you done?"
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~~~ Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks.
At a party, an old friend exclaimed, "Edith, you haven't changed in 20 years."
"Oh," said Mom, horrified..... "I hope I didn't look like this 20 years ago."
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~~~ One Sunday afternoon, I took my two boys, ages eleven and thirteen,
fishing.
After an hour, my oldest son was the only one to catch any fish.
As he reeled in his second bass, he proudly announced..................
"The first one was a large mouth, and this is a small mouth."
My youngest turned to me and muttered, "And there's a big mouth!"
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~~~ This bloke is sitting at home one night when there’s a loud knock on the door.
The man answers the door and is surprised to find that there’s a six foot tall
beetle standing on his doorstep.
Before the bloke has time to speak the beetle launches a frenzied attack on
him and after a flurry of blows it leaves.
The bloke is covered in cuts and bruises and immediately goes to see his doctor.
On seeing him, the doctor asks, “What happened?”
The man replies, “You won’t believe me.....
I was beaten up by a massive beetle.”
On seeing that his doctor is nonplussed by this the man asks, “Well, aren’t you
surprised?”
The doctor replies, “Not really..... There’s a nasty bug going around.”
.
~~~ A man of eighty-one yells with joy as the nurse comes in and tells him
that his twenty-year-old bride just gave birth to a baby.
The man muses, "I wonder if I could do it again."Another expectant father
answers, "What makes you think you did it the first time?"
.
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Todays Thought: If only the good die young then what does that say about
senior citizens?
1 comment:
I loved the pics today Gus, thank you.
Rae x
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