Ready for a rainy weekend ?
.
Sunshine isn't ready.............
What's with the little yappy dog...........
Now....this is a chubby baby................................
Now....this is a chubby baby.................................
Gotta watch out for them VW Spiders......... they eats bugs..
Gotta watch out for them VW Spiders......... they eats bugs...
Walking on water??
Looking for breakfast....................................
Walking on water??.
Looking for breakfast.....................................
Waiting for Breakfast..........
Breakfast !!...........................................
Waiting for Breakfast...........
Breakfast !!............................................
Me.....Posting the blog........ Bad to the Bone........ 
Me.....Posting the blog........ Bad to the Bone.........
♥♥♥
~~~ Okay....Pete, here it is:
The woman applying for a job in a Florida Lemon Grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.
The foreman frowned & said, "I have to ask you this; "have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied.
"I've been divorced 3 times & I voted for Obama!"
.
~~~ Okay, Pete...Are you sure you understand what I thought I said!
.
~~~ Gus's words of wisdom....Learn from the mistakes of others.
Trust me ... you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
I've tried!!
.
~~~ 2009 DARWIN AWARD...When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire
at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California.Would-be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked...........
.
~~~ Note! You’re driving a car.
It isn’t a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant.
.
~~~ Think about this..... "I've seen more interesting faces on clocks."
"Whatever is eating you must be suffering from indigestion."
"The last time I saw a mouth like yours, it had a fishhook in it."
"I heard about your wit."..... "Oh, it's nothing." "Yes, that's what I heard."
"You have a very striking face........ It should be struck more often."
.
~~~ A browbeating lawyer was demanding that a witness answer a certain
question either in the negative or affirmative.
"I cannot do it," said the witness.
"There are some questions that cannot be answered by a 'yes' or a 'no,'
as any one knows."
"I defy you to give an example to the court," thundered the lawyer.
The retort came like a flash: "Are you still beating your wife?"
.
~~~ I was taking a nursing history on a new elderly male patient.
When I got to the lungs/breathing section, I asked, "Do you ever get short
of breath?"
With a devilish twinkle in his eye he replied, "Only during sex."
With a straight face, I looked at him and replied, "So that's a no'?'"
"Touché" he responded.
.
~~~ A truck driver was going south on I-75, when he came upon a
weight station.
When he pulled in and got on the scales to be weighed, the scale master told
the driver that he was 900lbs. over weight.
The truck driver replied, I can take care or that.
The scale master asked he how could he fix the problem?
The driver said, let me go around back, and I'll fix the overweight problem.
The scale master agreed to let him fix his problem.
About half an hour later the truck driver got back on the scales, and the
scale master said, driver, you are still 900lbs., over weight.
The truck driver said, I don't understand what went wrong.
I let 50lbs. out of each tire on the rig.
After thinking the problem over the scale master said, well 18 tires
times 50lbs., would equal 900lbs.
I guess my scales must be wrong.
I'm sorry driver, you may continue on down the road, and have a nice day.
.
~~~ A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss.
She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you
will want some identification?"
He replied without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary."
"How come?" asked the woman.
"Crooks don't buy peat moss." answered the clerk.
.
~~~ I thought I wanted a tattoo, so I had a friend come with me to the
tattoo parlor.
As I nervously paused outside the door, I noticed the T had slipped off their
sign...... Now it read "Creative ouch."
.
~~~ "Who likes music?" asks a commander.
Two soldiers step forward.
"OK you two...... I bought a piano.
Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor."
.
.
Todays Thought: Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy.........
but gets you nowhere.
The woman applying for a job in a Florida Lemon Grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.
The foreman frowned & said, "I have to ask you this; "have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied.
"I've been divorced 3 times & I voted for Obama!"
.
~~~ Okay, Pete...Are you sure you understand what I thought I said!
.
~~~ Gus's words of wisdom....Learn from the mistakes of others.
Trust me ... you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
I've tried!!
.
~~~ 2009 DARWIN AWARD...When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire
at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California.Would-be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked...........
.
~~~ Note! You’re driving a car.
It isn’t a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant.
.
~~~ Think about this..... "I've seen more interesting faces on clocks."
"Whatever is eating you must be suffering from indigestion."
"The last time I saw a mouth like yours, it had a fishhook in it."
"I heard about your wit."..... "Oh, it's nothing." "Yes, that's what I heard."
"You have a very striking face........ It should be struck more often."
.
~~~ A browbeating lawyer was demanding that a witness answer a certain
question either in the negative or affirmative.
"I cannot do it," said the witness.
"There are some questions that cannot be answered by a 'yes' or a 'no,'
as any one knows."
"I defy you to give an example to the court," thundered the lawyer.
The retort came like a flash: "Are you still beating your wife?"
.
~~~ I was taking a nursing history on a new elderly male patient.
When I got to the lungs/breathing section, I asked, "Do you ever get short
of breath?"
With a devilish twinkle in his eye he replied, "Only during sex."
With a straight face, I looked at him and replied, "So that's a no'?'"
"Touché" he responded.
.
~~~ A truck driver was going south on I-75, when he came upon a
weight station.
When he pulled in and got on the scales to be weighed, the scale master told
the driver that he was 900lbs. over weight.
The truck driver replied, I can take care or that.
The scale master asked he how could he fix the problem?
The driver said, let me go around back, and I'll fix the overweight problem.
The scale master agreed to let him fix his problem.
About half an hour later the truck driver got back on the scales, and the
scale master said, driver, you are still 900lbs., over weight.
The truck driver said, I don't understand what went wrong.
I let 50lbs. out of each tire on the rig.
After thinking the problem over the scale master said, well 18 tires
times 50lbs., would equal 900lbs.
I guess my scales must be wrong.
I'm sorry driver, you may continue on down the road, and have a nice day.
.
~~~ A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss.
She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you
will want some identification?"
He replied without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary."
"How come?" asked the woman.
"Crooks don't buy peat moss." answered the clerk.
.
~~~ I thought I wanted a tattoo, so I had a friend come with me to the
tattoo parlor.
As I nervously paused outside the door, I noticed the T had slipped off their
sign...... Now it read "Creative ouch."
.
~~~ "Who likes music?" asks a commander.
Two soldiers step forward.
"OK you two...... I bought a piano.
Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor."
.
.
Todays Thought: Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy.........
but gets you nowhere.
1 comment:
That scale master must have been blonde lol
Rae x
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