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Some cool lookin mushrooms growing beside the Lane....
A cutie.......
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How about this guy?.....A nice lookin buddy for someone.....
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He's watching the dog..........
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Ha--Ha......
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Another Ha...Ha....
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A great one..........
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Wow, he's a big one.......
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♥♥♥
~~~ Judge to policeman: “ But if a man is on his knees in the middle of the road, does that prove him drunk?”
Policeman: “ No, Your Honour, but this one was trying to roll up the white line.”
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~~~ My grandparents, who are real do-it-your-selfers, were sprucing up their basement.
They picked out bright purple carpeting and then spread it over our lawn in order to measure and cut it.
The neighbors watched curiously.
After a while, the teenage daughter of one neighbor spoke up.
"Our family has taken a vote," she said.
"I've been elected to tell you that if we have any voice in this, we would prefer you leave your lawn the color it is."
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~~~ Cop to drunk: “Say fellow, do you know who I am?”
Drunk: “Can’t shay I do, but tell me where you live and I’ll help you home.”
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~~~ We were staying at a country resort and became friendly with the handyman.
"My neighbor has a nice little cottage for sale, case you're interested," he told us.
Despite its run-down appearance, we fell in love with the place and bought it "as is."
The day we moved in, our new friend dropped by.
"You got a good buy, " he admitted.
"Cottage needs some work though.
Roof leaks, plumbing's shot and the well runs dry in the summer."
Dismayed, I retorted, "Why didn't you tell us that before we bought it?"
"Weren't neighbors then," he replied.
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~~~ When intoxicated, a French man wants to dance, a German wants to sing, a Spaniard wants to gamble, an Englishman wants to eat, an Italian wants to boast, a Russian wants to be affectionate, an Irishman wants to fight and an American wants to make a speech.
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~~~ A rancher walked up to the window at the post office, where a new clerk was sorting mail.
"Any mail for Mike Howe?" the rancher asked.
The clerk ignored him and the rancher repeated his question in a louder voice.
Without looking up, the clerk said, "No, none for your cow, and none for your horse, either."
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~~~ A country boy was driving his girlfriend past a funfair, and the smell of fresh popcorn filled the air.
“My! Ain’t that nice?” asked the girl.
“Ain’t what nice?”
“Why the popcorn...... It smells awfully good!”
“Yes, you are right.
I’ll just drive a little closer so you can get a better smell.”
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~~~ I was driving around and around a parking garage in search of an available space...... Nothing.....
Then I noticed a couple walking ahead of me.
"Going out?" I called to them hopefully.
"No," said the man.
"Just friends."
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~~~ Johnny saw a peacock in all its splendor for the first time.
He ran to his farmer host and said: “Come quick.
One of your chickens is in full bloom!”
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~~~ There was a preacher who was going to give a sermon, but he forgot what he was going to preach about.
He thought that if he said: 'Lookout here I come', that his sermon would come back to him.
So he said it, and nothing happened.
He said it again even louder and nothing happened.
He said it a third time only he jumped and said it really loud.
When he jumped, he tripped over a step and fell into the lap of a lady in the front row.
When he tried to apologize the lady said, "Oh don't worry, it was nothing, you told me three times that you were coming."
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~~~ If we had no faults of our own, we would not take so much pleasure in noticing those of others.
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~~~ A mother is talking to her son regarding his homework.
He replies, "If I do my homework, I'll get good grades.
If I get good grades, you'll send me to college.
If I go to college, I'll graduate and get a job.
If I get a job, I might get fired. If I get fired, I could go bankrupt and lose everything.
That's why I didn't do my homework!"
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~~~ Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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Todays Thought: A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click...
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